Visiting Ronald Regan's Boyhood Home - my first (and failed) attempt at writing a novel

                  Visiting Ronald Reagan's Boyhood Home

                   (or Screwed, Blued and Tattooed)  

                                 by

                           Michael W. Bell

     QM1 William Leonard Tanner's last day of slavery had finally come and he was about to become a free 

man! Eight years down the tubes and he was going home!

     The personnel clerk gave Tanner his last paycheck and showed him the last form to sign. While 

Tanner signed the final form, the clerk looked at the clock. It was almost 3 pm and the leading chief 

had promised the office an early secure from duty if they got their work done early! The clerk was one 

sailor who was eager to get going and didn't want to be held back by some lifer sailor who was getting 

out of the Navy. So, the clerk smiled at the ex-lifer, gave Tanner his paper work package and pointed 

him over toward the officer in charge.

     The officer in charge was a young supply officer who had just come from sea duty and still thought 

that the Navy was gravy duty. He decided to "help" Tanner out...

     "Have a seat, Petty Officer Tanner. I've reviewed your service record and you're damn good! I think 

you should stay in. We need good people like you!"

     "Well, sir, it's a matter of a personal problem and I'm the only one who can really solve it. I'm 

planning on joining the reserves so I'm not really leaving the Navy."

     The junior officer knew troops and he knew the B.S. they liked to spew out when they were trying to 

confuse the issue. It was something that he had gotten used to on the USS Forrestal (CVA-59).

      "You can turn in those papers right now Petty Officer Tanner and I can arrange with your detailer 

to get you the duty station of your choice. My commander says we need people like you, with your 

qualifications. Think about it!"

     "I will, sir, but, my problems still haven't gone away."       The junior officer sighed, handed 

Tanner a business card that read "James Wilhite, LTjg, Supply Corps, USN". Tanner

dutifully put the card in his wallet next to the pink Navy

reserve I.D. card.

     Tanner never noticed that Wilhite's card said USN instead of USNR; the "R" means "Reserve". Tanner 

didn't know that it was almost unheard of for a junior supply officer to hold a regular commission and 

that this Wilhite must walk on water and be so competent that he had  powerful friends. Tanner could 

have saved himself a painful education...

     The two men shook hands and Tanner was out of the Navy!      Tanner ignored the opportunity to 

visit the commissary for the last time (it was a long drive from San Francisco to Rockford), didn't 

visit the Exchange (Tanner wasn't used to sales taxes) and didn't stock up at the Navy liquor store 

(Tanner DEFINITELY didn't know about all the taxes put on civilian sold booze).

     Tanner was out of the front gate by 3:15 PM and was thinking blissfully about the wonderful 

civilian future he had ahead of him. Orwell was right: "Ignorance is Bliss!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     Two months later, Tanner was having second thoughts. His hands hurt, he was tired and was getting 

sick of eating rice and beans (he could eat the beans if he didn't look at what he was eating because he 

was proud of his hatred of beans). The exit from the Navy had been easy at first...

     The trip from San Francisco had taken him five days. He had stopped at Sun City, Arizona and 

visited relatives. He had eaten at cheap quick food places along the way and had stayed in decent 

hotels; his savings account of $4000 seemed a bottomless pit of cash and besides he knew he'd be making 

the good money upon reaching Rockford.

     He arrived in Rockford late Wednesday on 13 June and checked into the Alpine Inn. He bought a 

paper, checked out the pool and had dinner at "Aunt Mary's". He had bland meatloaf and discovered that a 

"Family Style Restaurant" meant a place that did not sell booze. He returned to his room, got some ice 

from the machine down the hall and used the ice to chill a couple of Coors he'd bought two days before. 

Then, he opened the paper to the "Helped Wanted" section.

     After ten minutes, Tanner stopped reading when he realized that there was nothing in the paper that 

sounded interesting to him. He had another beer, called the room service and asked them to wake him at 7 

am.

     He then had another couple of beers and crashed. Whether it was the beer or meager pickings in the 

help wanted section, his sleep was full of fearful dreams of failing and ending up on the streets. He 

was quite happy to wake up!

     The waitress who served him his "free" continental breakfast was willing to sit and chat after 

serving him the cereal and instant coffee.

     "I just got out of the Navy and moved here."

     "Why did ya move to Rockford?"

     "I was raised in Indiana; my parents live near Marseilles {get correct spelling!} (Tanner 

pronounced Marseilles the French way but the waitress didn't ask him to clarify where he meant). An old 

shipmate of mine kept talking about how much he loved it here in Rockford. Kept talking about where he 

went to high

school, some place called Rock Creek or Rock Cut or Rock Ford State park..."

    "Rock Cut State park", she interjected.

    "...Rock Cut State Park and how much he liked going to some places down town. He kept talking about 

how much he likes

Rockford and how much he misses it."

     "So where does he live?"

     "He just made Master Chief Petty Officer and has cut a deal with his detailer so that he'll keep 

rotating between shore duty in San Diego and a couple of ships in San Diego. He figures he's got twenty 

five years in and that can be in San Diego there till he retires at thirty. Hell, he can even go beyond 

thirty years."      "That sounds nice and I didn't understand part of it. You're saying your buddy got 

promoted and will be in San Diego as long as he wants? Right?"

     "Yes. Could you tell me what kind of jobs are available in Rockford?"

     "There used to be a lot of light industry but a lot of companies shut down and reopened as non-

union shops; pay is poor. Oh, you have to register your car with the city and pay a city tax but you've 

got sixty days to do that. About the only places that are hiring are the temporary places and the quick 

food places."

     Tanner thought about that for a minute. Temporary employment places always made him think of 

smiling women in TV ads who loved to clean other people's houses or work someone else's calculator. As 

for quick food places, he figured that working there would be an exercise in baby sitting; he had done 

his share of that as the leading petty officer for his Division and then his department while on the USS 

Blue Ridge.

     "What other kinds of jobs are there?"

     "Well, you can go to the State Employment Office, pay a headhunter, go talk to the VA man."

     "Thanks, I plan on visiting the VA people first thing this morning. Oh, by the way, is this motel 

hiring? Just curious."

      The waitress laughed.

     "Honey! They only hire women to work here; they only hiring maids and I'm the only waitress. I've 

been here for fifteen years and I only keep this job 'cause the owner believes in having GREAT benefits. 

My husband works construction and makes the money for the family during the spring and summer. But they 

still call him a 'temporary' and don't pay him no benefits."

      The woman got up and then refilled Tanner's coffee cup. She looked at the pensive, slightly 

worried expression on Tanner's face before remarking:

     "This friend of yours who loves Rockford; ever wonder why he hasn't come back?"

     Tanner was beginning to suspect why.

     Tanner went back to the hotel office and took one of the maps that they had on the counter. The 

phone book listed the "Veteran Affairs Officer" as being on 11th street. Tanner was wearing a nice 

shirt, trousers and had on his second best spit shinned black shoes.

     He walked into the office and was tempted to turn around and leave!

     There were "clients" waiting on uncomfortable looking chairs in a little roped off area. There were 

put on looking clerks behind glass walls; there were little holes in the glass walls where "clients" 

could address the clerks like a pennant speaking to the confessor.

     Tanner filed out a form that was specifically for people wanting to speak with the VA man and slid 

it into a basket. The form was basically a resume. Then, he began waiting.

     He could get coffee but it was from a machine and too damn expensive; Tanner was used to Navy 

offices with coffee machines, paper cups and little "25 cents/cup" signs.

     Finally, a rumpled looking man called "Tanner". They went behind the counter in the front of the 

room and into a

partitioned area; the man sat in a swivel chair and Tanner plopped down into an uncomfortable plastic 

chair.

     "I'm Ralph Miller, the VA representative for this office. Have you signed up for our services in 

the past two years, Mr. Tanner?"

     "No, sir. I just got out of the Navy and this is the first time I've been in Illinois in probably 

twenty to twenty-five years."

     "You were raised in the upper Midwest?"

     "I went to elementary school in Indiana; we moved to Montana when I was in the second grade."

     "Well, Mr. Tanner, looking at your application form here, I think you've had quite a career and 

have a lot to offer an

employer..."

     "Thank you."

     "...anywhere in the Stateline area (Tanner knew the

'Stateline Area' was an area centered around Rockford). You were in the Navy for eight years, were a 

Drug and Alcohol Programme Advisor, Division and Department Leading Petty Officer, training petty 

officer and qualified for the Enlisted Surface Warfare insignia. Why did you leave the Navy?"

     "I didn't seem to be going anywhere. I didn't know any women since I was at sea much of the time 

and the Navy just got to be too much of a hassle. All the old guys kept talking about how the Navy 

wasn't fun anymore; they were talking about how a peacetime Navy wasn't any fun."

     Miller just sighed slightly and didn't have the heart to tell Tanner that the civilian world wasn't 

'one big happy family' either. Miller could also tell that Tanner was lonely but Miller didn't know how 

to broach the subject.

     "Well, let me fill in this information from you're form." Miller than used his IBM clone to make a 

file on Tanner.

     "What areas of industry are you interested in?"

     Tanner looked at a list of job categories that Miller handed him and read off several:

     "Office work (he had typed many reports while on ship), light industrial (he had helped maintain 

the small boats and navigation equipment on ship), janitorial (God alone knew how many floor he had 

cleaned before finally getting enough rank to be above such things).

     "Rockford doesn't have a lot of office work available. Your best bet is to check out the county, 

state and federal jobs and apply for them. We have a listing of some of these jobs out front. Also, 

there is the microfilm bank of available jobs; this is in the reception area...Did you sell back leave 

when you left the Navy?"

     "Yes. I had sixty days leave coming to me and I sold that back."

     This sixty days was two months "free" pay for Tanner and formed a healthy chunk of his nestegg.

     "Then that means you can not go on unemployment for sixty days after you were discharged. Have you 

thought about joining the reserves?"

     "Yes, I've thought about the reserves but it doesn't have quite the seem feel. I don't think it 

would be like being in the Navy."

     "Perhaps, but, it is a good source of income and would keep you from having wasted your eight 

years. Someday, that retirement will be nice. Also, you'll have commissary and exchange

privilege in return for your drills."

     "Thank you, sir, I'll think about it."

     "Did you have an disabilities or anything that would require VA attention? Did you invest in that 

latest college education fund that the military is promoting?"

     "No and no."

     "Well then, Mr. Tanner, I suggest that you go to the county, state and national employment 

circulars and see what is available there. The county jobs are listed out front, the city and federal 

jobs are listed in city hall. Heres my card and call me if you need anything. Anything at all; in fact, 

I'd like you to give me a call early next week and tell me what is going on with your job hunting!"

     Tanner could tell that Miller was sincere but was too

inexperienced to know how ultimately powerless Miller and the system he represented was.

     Tanner spent the next hour going through the job openings for all jobs. There were plenty of 

openings for people with specialized degrees and for nurses and for people eager to work in gas stations 

for minimum wage. The county jobs were equally barren but there were a couple of clerical jobs that he 

thought looked promising. Tanner took the applications for those jobs and trundled over to a local 

burger joint for a quick colostral and fat fix and began filling out the forms. After his act of

defiance to the National Heart Association, Tanner left the burger joint and drove to the library just 

off South Alpine; the library was on his map of Rockford.

     Tanner then spent the rest of the afternoon filling out the county job application, xeroxed them 

and mailed them off. Then, feeling that he had at least accomplished something positive, Tanner went 

back to the Alpine Inn and watched some TV.

     Around 8 pm, he drove over to Magna, bought some peanut butter, bread, Dr. Pepper and returned to 

the Alpine Inn for an evening of alternatively worrying about his future and

daydreaming about the wonderful things awaiting him in the

"Stateline Area" if things just worked out right.

     One thing was for damn sure; he'd have to find a place to live since he couldn't keep going on 

$45/night at the Alpine Inn for a lot longer.

     The next morning, he slept in until almost 8 am and wondered down to the dining room of the Alpine 

Inn. The same waitress from the day before walked up to him.

     "Good morning! What will it be this morning?"

     "Well, I'd like to say a nice high paying job but that seems kind of presumeous. I think I'd like 

some corn flakes, coffee and some toast."

     "Well, honey, you can't have both the corn flakes and the toast, but, that couple over there didn't 

want their toast so it's yours now." She paused, "and don't we all want that high paying job?"

     She handed Tanner a confused handful of newspapers and bustled off into her kitchen. As she was 

making the toast, her other customers left.

     Tanner was reading the classified section of the paper when the waitress returned. Since he was 

beginning to feel lonely, he stood up and pulled the chair out for her to sit down.

     "Thank you, honey, weren't you looking for jobs yesterday?"      "Sure was. My name is Bill Tanner, 

by the way."

     "Pleasure, Bill, I'm Annabelle Lee Johnston. My parents liked an old poem by Edgar Rice Poe. I 

never have understood why they named me that since the poem is so sad."

     Tanner knew she meant Edgar Allen Poe but had never read the poem himself; it was one of the 

assignments he had ducked out of in high school English.

     "So, Bill, did you have any luck yesterday?"

     "No, not really, I talked to the VA man and sent in

applications for two county jobs. The jobs in the job bank just didn't appeal to me."

     "Low pay and don't seem to require any intelligence?"

     "Yes!"

     "You're going to find that in a lot of places around here. This just isn't a big industrial 

center."

     "I'm beginning to get a little concerned."

     "You're still mobile, why not go someplace like De-troit or to Chicago?"

     "I may be pigheaded but I still want to find out about Rockford. That friend of mine told me so 

much about Rockford."      "So what do you have planned for today, Bill?"

     Tanner didn't mind a little mothering from Annabelle; the thought that someone cared enough to ask 

felt rather good to him.      "I'm going to look into the city and state jobs. The federal jobs all have 

long application times and might as well wait till I've gotten these other jobs applied for."

     "If you don't mind some practical advise, Bill," Annabelle paused since she knew that most people 

wanted advise as much as they wanted a root canal.

     "Sure."

     "Get a place to stay! They're charging you too much for your room and besides, they've got the 

State Democratic Convention coming to town next week. You're going to have to move out on Sunday at the 

latest!"

     "DAMN! I thought I had more time." Tanner was also thinking about how the front desk had not 

mentioned this when he checked in. They had seemed happy when he had told them his stay would only be 

for a couple of days.

     They got out the classified section of the paper and began looking.

     "How about having a roommate?"

     "I don't know about that, I'm kind tired of having to put up with other people. Besides, they all 

want a lot of money."      "What about this one bedroom apartment?"

     "Looks good, rent is about $300/month. I can afford that."      "It is not furnished and you still 

don't have a job. Better figure on a minimum wage job, Bill!"

     "Well, at $4/hour and forty hours per week that would be $640/month before taxes."

     "After taxes and social security and other B.S. you might be taking home $400/month. You look like 

a big eater, Bill, so I think you should look for a cheaper place."

     Tanner wasn't feeling to happy about having to figure his future in this way; he was feeling rushed 

and out of place.      Annabelle Lee Johnston interpreted Tanner's reaction as

rebellion to her advise and remembered one of her husband's favorite sayings: "Most people want advise 

like they want a second A-hole."

     "Excuse me Bill, I have to do some things behind the

counter."

     She went behind the counter, cleaned up, made another pot of coffee and got out her copy of People 

magazine. Meanwhile, Tanner was giving serious thought to what she had said and was looking for 

furnished rooms, unfurnished rooms and residence hotels. The YMCA sounded good to him but it was out of 

the question; where Tanner had been raised, the YMCA had suffered from the mistaken belief that it was a 

"queer hangout" and a place where the local bums lived. Unfortunately, Tanner had never checked out 

these statements.

     The next best place was a travel trailer for $150/month and after that the Grand Hotel for 

$160/month. He went wondered over to Annabelle Lee.

     "I found two places that sound good. The first is a travel trailer..."

     "DON'T take it, Bill! Have you ever seen a real bad

thunderstorm?"

     "...trailer." He paused. "No, not in maybe ten years. Why?"      "We get bad thunderstorms around 

here and sometimes

tornados. They can destroy a travel trailer in an F-ing

heartbeat!"

     "Come on, if they're so bad, why are people buying them?"     "They're cheaper than a real 

house. Besides, do you know the old joke? 'What makes tornadoes?'"

     Tanner thought about the meteorology he had learned as a Navy Quartermaster and from hanging out 

with the ship's weather guessers. He could tell her the scientific answer but couldn't guess the 

punchline to her joke.

     "I don't know, what?"

     "Travel trailers make tornadoes!"

     Tanner groaned then laughed at the joke.

     "What is your second place?"

     "Grand Hotel on Broadway for $160/month. Comes furnished."

      "Sounds good and they should be open by now."

     "Thanks! I appreciate your help!"

     Tanner could take a "subtle" hint very well after his time in the Navy. Annabelle Lee refilled his 

coffee cup and then took a carafe out to the reception desk. Tanner left a Susan B.

Anthony "quarter" on the counter and then got out his map and figured out where the Grand Hotel was.

     Tanner parked out front and walked into the faded looking lobby with it's ancient furniture and 

dark spots under low

wattage table lamps. There was a faint odor of mildew that

reminded Tanner of his grandparent's house. The inhabitants of the lobby had that patina of old pain and 

ancient memories that made Tanner feel almost an alien. On ship, Tanner had been one of the "old 

timers"; he wasn't here.

     The day clerk put on a tired smile.

     "How can I help you, sir?"

     "I just moved into town and I'd like to rent a room."

     The day clerk relaxed and shelved his smile; he had been afraid that Tanner was a housing inspector 

or perhaps a cop. He looked like he could have been either. The day clerk rang for the manager.

     "What can I do for you, Sir?" 

     "I just moved into town and I'd like to rent a room."

     "By the week or the month."

     "By the month."

     The manager figured that Tanner must be the heat and took him up to the second floor where he had 

the better rooms. He lead Tanner into a room that had an old bed, a dresser with a faded walnut finish 

and a great view of the building next door. Tanner could tell that there was a dumpster nearby from the 

smell but it was not in direct sight.

     The room looked at below standard to the manager; to Tanner, who had just come off of a crowded 

ship, this room looked better than the "stateroom" his division officer had occupied aboard the USS Blue 

Ridge.

     "I like it!"

     The strangest feature of the room was also the feature that appealed the most to Tanner. The room 

had a bath with a seven foot bathtub, sink and mirror in a small bathroom; there was no toilet. After 

years onboard ship with only communal showers, Tanner thought the bathtub was ideal. The manager took 

Tanner to the communal toilet.

     "We clean it every day and more often if there are any, any, ah, any problems."

     Tanner knew about "problems" from years of living with young sailors who had gotten drunk for the 

first time in foreign ports where the only drinking age was whatever age was old enough to have money 

and make it into the bar. There were a lot of

Mediterranean counties where Tanner had visited the seaport towns and he finally realized that he had 

not actually visited those countries. The Navy had cut back on Special Services funds for ship crews 

visits to scenic places in foreign countries.

     "Looks good, I'll take it! When is the earliest I can move in?"

     "Monday. Lets go down to the office. You should realize that your new neighbors are mostly elderly 

and mostly low income. Also, you can rent a refrigerator for an extra $20 per month but you can't cook 

in your room. Fire marshall don't like it."

     "What about a hotplate for coffee?"

     "That's OK, just let me see it before you use it. I don't care what kind of coffee you make but I 

got to make sure the fire marshall won't bust me."

     "Fine with me!" Tanner was feeling real accommodating since getting a cheap room was a major 

concern of his.

     "Oh", the manager winked, "open the window before making your coffee. Some folks around here make 

real strange coffee. Some of their coffee smells like food cooking. You know what I mean?"

     "Ah, yes."

     "Well, I never check those rooms 'cause I know people like their privacy."

     Tanner would later discover that the Manager lived behind the counter and liked to make coffee that 

smelled like macaroni and cheese or hamburgers or like boiling vegetables.

     Tanner handed the manager a check for $180 after he signed off on the room rental agreement. It was 

not a lease so he could leave in a hurry. There was a sign behind the counter listing the number of 

empty rooms and Tanner figured he was in no danger of being evicted. The manager had not asked Tanner 

where he was employed and had taken Tanner's Navy Federal Credit Union check without question. The check 

bore Tanner's mailing address on the USS Blue Ridge.

     Then, Tanner left for city hall.

     There, he found one spot that displayed city jobs. He picked up a job application for a part time 

city clerical job and took an application for a road work job. Then, he went up to the little room which 

featured the Federal Jobs. There were two books which listed Federal jobs. The first book contained an

application for the National Weather service which Tanner took; he wasn't too hopeful about this but 

figured it was worth trying for. The other applications were for CIA jobs. There were a number of these 

and the three that appealed to Tanner were the Foreign Broadcast Information Service and two 

intelligence

analysis jobs. Tanner didn't feel that he was qualified for any of the jobs but he certainly wasn't 

going to turn them down. The chances of getting a spook job were just too amusing to turn down.

     Then, he went to lunch at Wendy's and tried to take it easy on the costs. He bought the all-you-

can-eat salad bar and left feeling stuffed.

     He went to Cherry Vale mall and saw the sights without buying anything.

     He returned to the Red Roof Inn without having talked to anyone since lunch and had a couple of 

peanut butter sandwich and went to bed early.

     Saturday morning, he again had breakfast at the dining room but his talkative waitress wasn't 

there; the meal seemed rather depressing without her conversation.

     Tanner left and headed for Rock Cut park. He went up Alpine and turned east on Riverside. Off to 

one side was an industrial park and a place called GAFman, Inc. was advertising:

          HIGH PAYING JOBS!

          FULL BENEFITS!

          Apply within.

     Tanner was wearing neat blue jeans (actually the trousers from an old set of Navy work clothes) and 

had on a t-shirt. He went into the front office.

     "Hi! I'd like to apply for a job here."

     "Fill out this form. Have you ever worked in industrial work before?"

     "I've worked in warehouses before and I ran a forklift for a year."

     "Good. We need operators for our fork lifts. Can you lift a lot of weight?"

     "Yes".

     Tanner filled out the form, drank a cup of incredibly bad coffee and waited for the office man to 

return.

     "I just talked to the day shift foreman and he says you're hired! Be back here on Tuesday."

     "Thank you!"

     Tanner left with a song in heart and total ignorance of what he'd just signed on for. Tanner had 

yet to learn the value of planning ahead and taking charge of his life.

     The trip to Rock Cut Park seemed very long and once there, he rented a row boat and cruised Pierce 

park for the day. He had too many soft drinks and discovered a greasy delight called

"brats". Tanner would later look back on this day as being one of the best in Rockford.

     Sunday morning, the desk clerk told him that he could stay until Tuesday. Monday morning, he 

checked out of the Alpine Inn.      He went to have breakfast with his friendly waitress,

Annabelle Lee.

     "I got hired by GAFman, Inc. and I'll move into the Grand Hotel today!"

     "I'm very glad to hear that, Bill. What kind of places are these?"

     "The Grand Hotel is fairly nice, seems kind of old though. Room is about the same as the Navy BOQ 

my division officer moved into on Guam when he went on shore duty" (Tanner didn't know that the Orote 

Point Navy BOQ was considered grossly substandard). "The Grand Hotel has atmosphere."

//the above footnote: No cooking facilities, old rooms but the bar was cheap when I roomed there in the 

sprint of 1983; my wife was going to Navy Officer Candidate School herself and I was forced to give up 

base housing.//

     "It has that all right" was the kindest remark Annabelle Lee could come up with.

     "I don't know about this GAFman, Inc. but I'll find out tomorrow."

     "I've never heard of it, myself. Will you need help moving your stuff?"

     "No. All I have is my TV, a seabag of uniforms, a seabag of civilian clothing and a small suitcase. 

Most of my stuff is in storage in southern California; the Navy will hold it for me for about six 

months. I want to get settled in before I call for it."      "Very smart idea, Bill!" Annabelle Lee's 

opinion of Bill Tanner went up drastically with that last remark of his.

     She refilled his coffee cup.

     "Anytime you feel like talking, just come back."

     "Thanks!"

     Tanner paid his bill with his VISATM card and drove over to his new abode.

     The manager was at the front desk when Tanner walked up and simply handed him the room key. In the 

lobby, the other residents watched Tanner with very little interest. Tanner made two trips hauling his 

stuff up to his room; he unpacked his work clothing and underwear, filled the refrigerator and opened 

the window. Then, he plugged in the TV and watched for a couple of hours.      After that excitement 

paled, Tanner went downstairs to the

lounge. As he went down the hall, he nodded to an elderly woman who had been scurrying into her room. He 

could feel her eyes on his back for a long moment before her door sighed shut.

     In the lounge, he nodded at several people who glanced at him. Then, he read an article on fishing 

for trout thru iceholes; the article was in an issue of "Field and Stream" that was older than he was!

     Tanner walked around outside for a while and ate dinner at a McDonald. He wasn't feeling like 

trying to be friendly and went to bed early. It took him a long time to doze off.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Tanner got up around 6 am, dressed in new bluejeans, a baggy green t-shirt and his old Navy work 

boots (called boondockers). He ate a peanut and jelly sandwich and made a couple more to take with him. 

He figured he could get a drink at work.

     The trip out to GAFman Inc. seemed to take forever. Tanner had several anxious moments thinking 

that he had taken a wrong turn somewhere and was hopelessly lost and would be late for work and would be 

fired-before-he-began working.

     Tanner arrived at work without incident and twenty minutes early.

     He sat in the parking lot and watched employees start

wondering in about 6 45 am. He wandered in about 6 55 am. In the Navy, there had always been some kind 

of security; sometimes the security was simply a waiting room with private offices beyond a swinging 

door. The room he walked into was huge and had rows of equipment or supplies filling it. The men (there 

were no women) were gathered in a dispirited looking group at a table next to the time clock. There was 

a coffee machine that offered little paper cups of coffee for only $50 each. Tanner had been used to 

getting such cups of coffee for $10 when in the Navy.

     Tanner stood for a minute and waited for someone, anyone, to acknowledge his presence and to ask 

what he wanted. No one did. When the men began punching in, Tanner asked one of the more alert looking 

specimens:

     "Hi! I'm new here and where do I go to get checked in?"      "Checked in," the man looked puzzled.

     "I mean," Tanner corrected himself, "where is the foreman?"      "Oh, him, he'll be in a while. Sit 

here and he'll see you."      "Thank you."

     Tanner sat down and began waiting; out of the corner of his eye he saw the "helpful" man talking 

with some others and

glancing toward him. Tanner didn't mind this and was glad that he had been noticed.

     A bulky man walked up to him around 7 35 am and began with:      "Who are you? Salesmen are 

supposed to go around front? What are you doing here?"

     "I'm Bill Tanner and I was just hired to be a forklift operator. One of the guys told me to wait 

here for the foreman."      "Who told you that? You're supposed to go to the front

office?"

     "I don't remember who it was."

     "Well, all right, there's some forms to be filled out. I'll go get them."

     As the foreman trundled off, Tanner noticed that the man who had "helped" him was looking relieved. 

It occurred to Tanner that the man's bad advise could have cost the "helpful" one his job. That was a 

sobering thought.

     "Fill these out and bring them back to me."

     There was a timecard to be filled out; the foreman had already written in the check-in time of 7 

am. Then Tanner read a booklet with the companies's policies, signed a receipt for that, read three 

booklets on fork lift safety and signed receipts for them, filled in the answers in a "closed book fork 

lift operator safety test" and read the pamphlet on medical insurance. The operator safety test had a 

spot on there for the name of the "monitor" who was supposed to make sure he didn't cheat on the test. 

The problem was that the medical insurance cost would be a week's pay and Tanner didn't know if it was 

worth the cost. However, Tanner didn't want to pay full price for medical

expenses.

     The "helpful" man wandered over and got himself a cup of coffee. Tanner noticed that the "helpful" 

man had hit the side of the coffee machine and gotten his pair of quarters back.

     "Thanks for not roaching on me. He'd a-fired me for not sending you to the front office. I'm George 

by the way."

     "You're welcome, George. Why would he have fired you?"      "Tried to get a union started here two, 

three, years ago. Just can't get unions started around here. Want a cup of coffee?"      "Sure." Tanner 

reached into a pocket for the change.

     After working his quarter retrieving trick, George handed Tanner his cup of coffee.

     "You new here?"

     "Yup. Just moved to Rockford."

     "Well, we can talk later...the foreman just walked in and he'll think I'm helping you cheat." 

George was smiling and laughing softly as he wondered off; the foreman didn't see him.      "Tanner, 

you're not supposed to drink coffee if you ain't on coffee break and I say who can take coffee breaks. 

Nobody drinks coffee 'less they are on break. Understand?"

     "Yes." Behind the foreman's back, George raised his coffee cup in mocking salute to the foreman.

     "Lets see these forms. Did ya cheat on the test?"

     "No sir!"

     "Good, good." The foreman filled in the blank spot on the safety test marked "Monitor" and in doing 

so, certified that he had watched Tanner take the test. Tanner had known people in the Navy who "gun 

decked" or falsified documents but he had never seen anyone falsify anything this important.

     "As for coffee, it costs you $.50 a cup. It is a good idea to hit the machine here since your 

change might be stuck in the machine. Everybody does it..."

     The foreman showed Tanner where to hit the machine and then drank the coffee he'd just "paid" for.

     "OK. Thanks for the information."

     "George will show you around the plant. You'll work with him for the next day or so."

     George, who had been eavesdropping, walked over.

     "Come on, I'll show ya around. We make fuel tanks fer

various companies. Your job'll be to use the forklift and move sheet steel to the rolling gear and tanks 

in various stages of 'ssembly around."

     By this time the foreman had disappeared.

     "Whatever ya do, don't sign up fer that medical insurance the turd's trying to git you to sign up 

for!"

     "Why not?"

     "That turd of a foreman is the insurance agent and gits a commission..."

     "That's a conflict of interest!"

     "...commission and the plant manager don't care 'cause he gits his cut too. If'fn ya do git sick, 

go to the county hospital and they'll only charge ya what you can afford to pay. Work here full time and 

that'll be free medical. I went to the county..." (From the corner of his eye Tanner saw the foreman 

trying to "sneak" up on them and was about to warn George) "...and after we test the tanks, we takes 

them to shipping for packaging and they're sent to various assembly plants. We get military

inspectors in here all the time...so we all work good and hard!"      The foreman left and Tanner knew 

that George had seen the foreman.

     "I was about to tell you he was 'sneaking up' on us."

     "Ya didn't need to...the turd likes to sneak around an' I saw you jump."

     Tanner was a bit embarrassed at being so transparent.

     "What's the foreman's name?"

     "Don't know; most guys just have cuss names for him and none of us want to remember his name. He 

don't seem to notice either."

     They spent the rest of the afternoon moving steel sheets with the forklift; the sheets were 6' by 

10' by 1/2" and were ridiculously heavy. Shortly before quitting time at 4 PM, the foreman wandered up 

to Tanner.

     "You have to go to medical, git your flu shot."

     "Flu shot?"

     "Yeah, everyone has to get them."

     Medical was a small dusty room that was normally used for storing lumber. They had used the rest of 

the lumber making boxes and the new supplies hadn't arrived.

     A woman in the traditional white nurse dress handed Tanner a piece of paper to read and a card to 

sign. Tanner got in line behind five other employees. The piece of paper simply said that he was 

required to have the flu shots. The card had a statement on it which relieved GAFman, Inc. of all 

responsibility should any side effects occur to employees. Tanner knew better than to sign the card.

     The nurse probably didn't expect anyone to sign it either and hadn't handed out pens. When the 

foreman had left she said: "Don't sign that card and don't say I told you. If you get sick, you can go 

to the hospital and claim it as a workman's comp illness. I didn't tell you this..."

     The nurse gave the five people their shots and they left. As they were leaving, Tanner heard the 

nurse tell the foreman: "I was just told to give the shots; it wasn't my job to get your workers to sign 

your companies's liability release!"

     Tanner figured the foreman had screwed up and didn't want to tell his boss. At quitting time, the 

foreman was still looking worried.

     Tanner decided to splurge and bought a Big Mac, fries and chocolate shake; this was the traditional 

meal out when he was on board ship in San Diego. Then, he returned to "home sweet home" and wondered in.

     An elderly woman was standing in front of her door as Tanner started to go around her.

     "Are you the new boy who just moved in?"

     "Yes, ma'am, I am."

      Tanner thought he was no boy, but, considered that this woman was probably fifty years older than 

him, he didn't mind.        "My name is Emma Andrews and I live in this room. I have lived here for nigh 

on ten years; ever since my Henry died."      "I'm Bill Tanner and I just moved to Rockford. You're the 

first person I've met here."

     "Well, it was nice to meet you, Bill. I'm going to see some of my friends...you're welcome to come 

along."

     "I'd like to but some other time. I'm tired and need to get cleaned up."

     Emma didn't argue with Bill who reeked a bit and she went on her way. Tanner took a quick shower 

and then ate his "feast". He felt like having a drink and had a beer while watching TV. Then, he started 

feeling lonely and this was something that was new to him. Tanner was used to being in the crowded 

environment of a ship where he could always find someone to talk with. Here, he felt out of place and 

strangely enough, did not feel the

confidence to go socialize. He decided to take up Emma Andrews offer some other time.

     Around midnight, he woke up coughing from post nasal drip; he took a couple of decongestants and 

went back to sleep.

     The next morning, Tanner forced himself to eat some coffee that tasted like oatmeal (he even cooked 

his illegal meal in an old coffee pot!) and a couple of decongestants. Making his two peanut butter 

sandwiches was almost too much of a chore. The trip to work went by very quickly and Tanner was looking 

forward to his second day in his "new civilian career!".

     Tanner got into line with his other coworkers and plugged his two quarters into the coffee machine; 

then, like the rest he tapped the machine to "get back his change" and retrieved his two quarters. While 

sipping the "coffee", Tanner reflected on the thought that the company should have been paying him to 

drink the "coffee".

     George trundled over to Tanner.

     "Bill, I'm been listening to that turd talking to the boss; they didn't think I was around. They 

were by the front door when I was getting a sip of water."

     Tanner wondered about this but figured that any intelligence collecting was worth the doing.

     "The boss is pissed off that the turd didn't collect those sheets that said we had to get our flu 

shots and he can't

understand how his secretary could have lost the waivers!"

     "Well, I don't know squat about those waivers. It was my first day and I lost track of everything I 

signed!"

     Both men snickered at this bullshit remark.

     "Well, we gota git you checked out on the big fork lift this morning."

     The foreman wondered over.

     "Boss," George said, "I'm going to show the new guy how to run the big forklift."

     "Fine, fine, don't bother me!"

     The big fork lift was so squat and heavy that if it were a man, it would have been a sumo wrestler. 

It had the highest set of rails Tanner had ever seen on a fork lift and could reach loads up to 25 feet 

above the ground. Tanner took to it like he was born for driving it.

     Every break, Tanner was drinking water and popping his decongestants. At lunch, Tanner could barely 

stomach his meal. Around 3 pm, Tanner lost his lunch and spent most of the rest of the work day 

"worshiping the porcelain goddess".

     Tanner was just coming out of the men's room when the

foreman called everyone together.

     "We can't find those forms you men signed yesterday...those waiver forms for the flu shots. I need 

to have everyone sign them again!"

     "Hey, boss," a woman Tanner didn't know piped up, "we signed them things once and my brother says 

we don't need to sign them again!"

     "What your brother think he is, some kind of a lawyer?"      "Yeah, it is, works for Lynn Martin."

     Tanner could hear the foreman mutter "oh FUCK!" under his breath.

     "Y'all go home, now, punch out so I can git home myself!"      The next ten minutes was spent with 

everyone patiently waiting in line to punch out exactly at 4 pm. All thirty employees from all divisions 

punched by between 4 pm and 4 02 pm. (@check for employee numbers)

     The foreman walked up to Tanner whose nose was dripping with his exhalation and whose nose was 

rubbed red.

     "You signed that waiver, right? You turned in all the pieces of paper that we gave out, right?"

     Tanner violent head motions as he lurched into a sneeze were misinterpreted by the foreman as a 

nodded yes. The foreman would later regret this lapse.

     Tanner stopped off at a drug store and bought several boxes of cleanex and returned to the hotel. 

He spent the next several hours being miserable before there was a knock on his door. Emma opened his 

door and walked in with a couple of old men her age. She simply put her hand on Tanner's forehead and

pronounced: "You have quite a fever, Bill and I want to know what you've done about it?"

     "Took...pills...aspirin".

     She snorted. "Thought so, didn't do the right thing."

     One of the old men handed Tanner a pill from a prescription bottle and handed him a glass of liquid 

to wash it down with. The liquid had about a 50 proof kick and the pill started working about five 

minutes later.

     "Doc gave me those pills the last time I had new-moan-yah," the old man said. "The cough syrup is 

home brew."

     "Thanks."

     Emma had left and now returned with some chicken soup broth. Tanner had heard jokes for years about 

Jewish grannies with their chicken soup but wasn't about to turn it down. About this time, the hotel 

manager wandered in and handed Tanner a mug of his own chicken soup.

     "You need a cup of my coffee, lad."

     Tanner had never figured that he would have to get sick in order to meet his neighbors, but, wasn't 

about to argue the results.

     Tanner never remembered when the "party" broke up and when a couple of men put him to bed. He woke 

up the next morning feeling somewhat better and had some breakfast. He had to run a red light to make it 

to work on time.

     "You look like shit!" was the foreman's friendly greeting. "Take the day off and get healthy, don't 

want you making everyone else sick."

     "OK, OK, I'm outa here! Thanks for the sick leave."

     The foreman just stared and Tanner felt like the stares of his co-workers had pinned up down like a 

butterfly in a biology lab dissection experiment.

     Tanner went to the county hospital.

     His education was about to begin.

     Tanner walked up to the receptionist nurse.

     "I need to see a doctor."

     "What is your problem, sir?"

     "I think I have the flu."

     "Have you ever been here before? Do you have a family

doctor?"

     "Nope."

     "Please fill out this form, sir and I will be right with you."

     While Tanner filled out the form, he heard the nurse tell a patient where the X-Ray room was, tell 

another employee how to fill out a form and watched her take another arrival's "vitals". Tanner got hung 

up on the insurance part of the form.

     "I don't have insurance."

     "None? Are you sure that you employer doesn't have

insurance?"

     "I just started working and haven't filled out the insurance forms yet."

     "How much do you make, Mr Tanner."

     Tanner handed her all his paperwork: his employment forms, the flu shot order and the unsigned 

waiver.

     "I had a flu shot yesterday."

     "So I see. I also see that you did not sign this waiver form. Correct?"

     "Yes, so what?"

     "This flu shot order makes your case of the flu, if it is the flu, a job related illness. Now, I am 

not a lawyer but

(Tanner could sense unofficial legal advise coming) I would not sign this waiver. It is your only 

protection from having to pay us if you have the flu! OK?"

     "I understand."

     "Good. I'll just have you fill in the rest of this form after you see the doctor. We have to charge 

based upon ability to pay. Ability to pay can depend on your bank account as well as the amount of money 

you make."

     Tanner began to feel very insecure because he could see his Navy Federal Credit Union savings 

disappearing like a piece of ice in a hot oven. 

     A couple of minutes later, he was escorted into a small curtained off cubicle where his vital signs 

were taken. Then he waited for a while.

     Finally, a young man arrived, looked at Tanner folder and said "How are we today?"

     "Sick, doc, I think I have the flu."

     "You may have, Bill. Turn you head, please."

     The MD went through the usual routine of checking Tanner's ears, nose, throat and listened to his 

back and chest. Then, the MD went back to reading the folder.

     "Sometimes, people develop severe reactions to flu shots. You show all the symptoms of such a 

reaction. I will give you a prescription for some decongestants and...are you allergic to aspirin?"

     "No, doc."

     "Good! I like aspirin since it is a good pain killer and handles fever. You're too old for us to 

worry about Ryes'

Syndrome. ALSO, keep this "flu shot order" in a safe place. The reception nurse made a couple of zerox 

copies for our records. Also, don't sign that damned waiver!"

     "OK."

     The MD nodded at Tanner and then left. Tanner took his prescription to the pharmacy and waited for 

the obligatory 35 minutes for his prescription.

     When he visited the receptionist nurse, Tanner opened the conversation by saying that he would put 

the original copy of the flu shot order in a safe place. The nurse nodded in approval. Tanner "forgot" 

to write on the form how much he had in his savings account.

     Tanner called GAFman, Inc (@make sure this Inc and not LTD) and talked to the receptionist.

     "Hi, I'm Bill Tanner and I just started working yesterday. I've got the flu and the doctor says I 

need to take a couple of days off. Can I talk to the foreman?"

     The receptionist put him on hold.

     "That new man is sick and needs some time off. What should I tell him?"

     "Oh, hell, tell him to come back on Monday."

     The secretary relayed this to Tanner.

     "What did he saw was the matter with him?" The boss'

question was idle and he really didn't care what the answer was; the boss took a sip of coffee.

     "Said that he has the flu?"

     The boss sprayed a mouthful of coffee across his hand.      "FIND THOSE WAIVER FORMS! And get the 

foreman up here NOW!"      For the next hour, the three argued about where the forms were and hunted for 

them. The foreman knew he didn't dare confess to having not collected either the flu shot order or the 

waiver forms. This would be an error that would cost GAFman in worker's comp money and a couple of law 

suits over the next couple of years. But, these three didn't know that...yet...

     Tanner took his medication, the completed forms and went to a local bank. He opened a checking 

account and cashed some

traveler's checks and put in $50. Having covered himself (or so he thought) with respect to the "what is 

your bank account

balance" question, he then rented a safe deposit box and put his papers in it. He put one of the safety 

deposit box keys on his keyring and the other key inside a pocket of his wallet. Then he went home.

     Tanner spent the rest of the week just hanging around

"home". He spent some time talking with his "neighbors" and a lot of time just resting. It wasn't for 

several years that Tanner would learn that excessive sleeping is one way that depression expresses 

itself; Tanner didn't feel depressed but then he wasn't particularly introspective or in touch with his 

feelings.

     On Saturday, Tanner's conscience finally let him leave the hotel. If he had walked outside earlier, 

Tanner's subconscious would have tried, convicted and punished him for dereliction of duty. Tanner was 

glad to be out on the weekend.

     Tanner went to Dennys over by the K-Mart and had one of his favorite meals: Chicken Fried Steak, 

fried eggs and fried

potatoes. He knew this was the colostral special but he figured it was well worth it...

     After this meal, Tanner went to the main branch of the Rockford city library and read magazines for 

a while. He picked up the latest copy of "All Hands", the official Navy magazine but didn't read it. 

Then, he looked at "Navy Times" but really didn't read much. The section that got most of his attention 

was the cartoons.

     He spent a considerable amount of time reading Time,

Newsweek and three newspapers.

     "Bright and Early" Monday morning, Tanner showed up early for work at GAFman, Inc. He had been 

thinking "Bright and Early" in a positive sense since he was eager to begin work again; he thought 

GAFman, Inc. had to be a decent place to work since they had given a new-boy employee three days off to 

get over the flu.      Tanner walked in and punched in; as he did, his "buddy" George walked over to 

say:

     "Yu're in deep shit, Bill, the boss says anyone who calls in sick his first week is 'History! Just 

plain history around

here!'. I overheard the boss telling the turd that! I don't  think that he heard me!"

     "Thanks for the warning!"

     Tanner knew he was fired now and he also knew that the correct spelling of the day was "Moanday" 

not "Monday". He went over to the coffee machine and did the 50 cent retrieval trick; the coffee was 

worth every penny he paid for it!

     The straw boss waddled over to Tanner.

     "There you are! I want to talk with you right now!"

     The other employees were drifting off quickly even thought it was five minutes till starting time 

and began congregating near the restrooms. Tanner knew that a bit of divergence was

necessary.

     "Let me get you a cup of coffee!"

     Tanner fed his pair of quarters into the machine but was careful to refrain from hitting the 

machine. The strawboss hit the machine, took the change and began "doctoring" his coffee with artificial 

sweetener and synthetic milk; these were his "weight reduction measures". He washed a sweet roll down 

with this contaminated coffee.

     Tanner walked over and punched in while the strawboss was amusing himself and so the meeting began 

after the start of the workday.

     "Tanner, you are fired!"

     "Sir! What am I fired for?"

     "For screwing off, That's what! You didn't come to work last week."

     "I called in sick and the boss's secretary told me that the boss said I could have the rest of the 

week off. Sir! Why don't you ask her?"

     "She's no longer with this company. Anyway, here's your pink slip. Sign it and get out!"

     Tanner looked at the check and noticed that GAFman, Inc! sure was concerned about making sure that 

the proper tax

deductions were taken out. In fact, he had never seen a check with 40% taken out for taxes, workman's 

comp and other such items.

     "Just one little problem, sir, this check does not cover this morning."

     "You haven't worked this morning!"

     "I punched in before you started talking to me, SIR and according to..."

     "Don't tell me what I gotta pay you for!"

     "...to the contract I signed, SIR, I am entitled to a

minimum of four hours pay if I show up and am fired! SIR!"

     Tanner had learned the gentle art of making "sir" sound like an obscenity; he had learned it from 

accidentally watching a former Navy division officer politely fighting with his

department head.

     "Oh, shit! Wait right here and I'll go get you four hours blood money."

     Tanner carefully looked at the check which was in front of several other papers. The papers were 

arranged in so that each paper had a slightly larger piece of paper behind it. There was an x on the 

bottom of each sheet where Tanner was supposed to sign. It was an easy and quick way for Tanner to sign 

each sheet.      George wandered by and muttered the unnecessary warning: "Read each God-damned sheet of 

paper."

     The first three sheets were his W-2. His copy, the plant's copy and IRS copy. Next was a sheet 

giving the reason for his dismissal (absence without leave); George changed this to read "approved sick 

leave" and wrote on the bottom "Change approved by Leonard Smithson" (the strawboss). The last sheet was 

a waiver for the flu shot that said:

     * Tanner was getting the shot voluntarily

     * The company wasn't responsible for any side effects

     * Tanner waived any workman's comp rights in case of illness      

     Tanner folded the last sheet in two so that it didn't show up.

     The strawboss returned and said "What! You haven't signed it yet?"

     "I will now!" Tanner then signed all the visible sheets. "Oh, by the way, it says here you've got 

to sign this as a

witness."

     The strawboss signed the part that said he was a witness to change in the "reason for separation" 

statement.

     "I would like a copy of these statements as well as my severance pay."

     "You ain't getting no severance pay, shithead, just this four hours pay."

     Tanner counted his pay, which was in cash, twice to make sure it was correct. Then, the two men 

went off to get a copy of the papers made. The new secretary simply zeroxed the forms, raised her 

eyebrows at the folded sheet and straightened it out then stamped the copied sheets as "CERTIFIED TRUE 

COPIES" and sent the forms in to be signed by the boss. This "worthy" was on the phone to a supplier in 

Taiwan and didn't even read what had been placed in front of him.

     Tanner started to walk back to the work floor.

     "Front door is that way."

     "I left my lunch on the break table."

     The straw boss escorted Tanner back to the break table but was distracted by George. Tanner then 

worked the "quarter trick" to "buy" coffee for everyone on the work floor and put the cups on the break 

table. He took a couple for himself and left

quietly. By the time he was at the door, all of the coffee had been drunk. George met him at the door 

and drank one of Tanner's two cups of coffee.

     "I'll keep in touch with you about anything coming up about you here."

     "Thanks!"

     So, Tanner left from his first firing in "the land of milk and honey" and wondered where he had 

screwed up? Somehow, being on board ship wasn't looking as bad as it used to!

     He paused in his car before starting the engine and made a gloomy survey of the W-2. It included 

the hours he had worked his first week but didn't include the time he had forced GAFman, Inc. into 

giving him. Tanner thought about going back to GAFman, Inc. to get a corrected copy of his W-2 but the 

thought of his immoral firing burned. He pictured going back like a dog slinking back to the sadist that 

had been kicking him around; he knew that GAFman, Inc. would just give him grief; he started his car and 

drove off.

     The cash payment was equal to about six hours pay.

     On the way home, Tanner stopped off at a liquor store and used the check to buy a fifth of rum. The 

clerk didn't question Tanner out of state identification and wasn't put off by the third party check 

//NOTE: Is this really a third party check?//; Nor was the bank when they cleared the check.

     "So," Tanner thought, "I'm out of my second job in less than a month! The first job 'cause I was 

dumb stupid enough to leave the Navy and this second one 'cause I was dumb stupid enough to stay home 

while sick!"

The thought was a bitter one and Tanner could feel the world closing in on him. It was days like 

this that made him feel he was born damned and would never amount to anything. He could picture himself 

hustling to get on the steam grate with the most warmth and eating at soup kitchens. Somehow, his 

potential and the people who could help him were factors that were forgotten when he was sunk in moods 

like this. There was only one thing to do!

     He drove over to Sinissippi Park and put on his running shoes. Then, after stretching out, he ran 

for two miles and jogged back. After this, he felt too physically bad to be

depressed. He stopped at a hot dog stand and bought a 1/4 lb dog from a smiling extrovert named Janet. 

Janet was wearing a patch that said "Rockford Yacht Club".

     "Hi, I didn't know that Rockford had a yacht club?"

     "We do, sort of. Actually we just formed the club and it will be meeting next Monday. Are you a 

sailor?"

     "Yes, I sailed in the Navy; I qualified on Holder 12s and Cal 22s. Perhaps I could join?"

     "Certainly! Just fill out this application form and we'll vote on you next meeting."

     After noticing that the single member fee was $12/year, Tanner filled out the form and paid in 

cash. At least something had gone right that day!

     Tanner talked with Janet for several more minutes before leaving. He carefully refused to let 

himself think about how much food or rent that $12 could have paid for.

     Then, Tanner drove over to visit "his" V.A. representative.      Once again, Tanner felt the 

atmosphere of pain and lost hopes; while he was waiting for Ralph Miller, VAman, to get around to seeing 

him, Tanner went through the listings of jobs available.      If you like macabre or ironic humor, 

Tanner thought, this file was the right place to be reading! There was one killer of a job:

     Assistant gas station manager, must hire, supervise, terminate, do the books and be available for 

all shifts as necessary. Starting pay: $ 3.65/hour.

     Tanner figured that any job with that much responsibility for such low pay must be one which was 

tailor made for a

preselected candidate. Tanner figured that the employer was making the job sound so hideously unfair in 

order to satisfy the

requirement for public availability and yet be able to hire the preselected employee. There was probably 

a merit raise to $7 or $8 per hour set up to go into effect in two months (retroactive of course).

     Tanner was finally summoned into Miller's office.

     "So, Bill, how are you doing in the civilian world?"

     "Not so good! I just fired from my first job..."

     "Yes?"

     "I got hired at a place called GAFman, Inc. almost two weeks ago. Worked Tuesday and Wednesday of 

last week. They had us all take flu shots at work on Tuesday. I had a bad reaction and ended up going to 

the hospital."

     "This sickness, this case of the flu, it was the flu? Did you have to pay for it?"

     "No...I, ah, claimed it on workman's comp since the company told me it was required; the flu shot 

that is."

     "Good! IF this company had it's employees get flu shots AND you reacted badly to the shots, claim 

that on workman's comp! BUT! Don't sign any waivers or admit it was you fault! Another thing, Bill, in 

Illinois workman's comp cases can take years to be settled through the paperwork system. When, not if, 

when you start getting dunning letters for the bills, just send them back letters referring them to 

workman's comp!"

     "Ah, sure, does this come up very often?"

     "Quite often, Bill, quite often! Just make sure that you don't accept responsibility for your case 

of the flu in any way, shape or fashion!"

     "Thanks! Anyway, last Thursday morning, I was sneezing an' wheezing and the strawboss told me to go 

home. I went to the local hospital ...look in previous text to get name of the hospital Tanner went 

to... and the visit was carried on workman's comp. The people there told me the same thing about not 

signing no papers and xeroxed the unsigned waiver sheet and order for the flu shot. Then I called out to 

the shop and was told, by the boss's secretary, that the man had given me time off. When I got to work 

this morning, they told me that I was fired for

unauthorized absence and the strawboss tried to trick me into signing the waiver. Left a real bad taste 

in my mouth especially since I was told that I had the time off."

     Miller nodded.

     "I clocked in at 7 am, they paid me off for two days work last week and then paid me on top of that 

for having clocked in today. They were very concerned about making sure that there was enough tax 

deductions taken out of my pay; they hit me up for 40% for taxes and workman's comp and suchlike.

     Tanner's irony was a subtle as shutting off one's

electricity as a way of saying "pay your electric bill"!

     "So they stuck it to you. You didn't pay for the medical insurance and haven't signed any dangerous 

paperwork. You have three choices: Get another job, go back in the service or go on welfare. Welfare is 

out since you sold back leave time and can work. You haven't been out of the Navy long enough to be 

nostalgic but if you're going back in, you'd better decide soon! That leaves getting a job."

     Tanner nodded.

     "You can try looking for other places to work but probably your best bet is to go to a temporary 

help agency and get hired on somewhere while you look for a real job. DON'T just stick with Rockford or 

Love's Park or Machesney Park. Think about Chicago or Oregon or Mt. Morris. Freeport is a good place to 

look and is fairly close."

     "OK. Did anything come up for me?"

     Miller begin tapping keys on his computer and after a moment said "Nothing meeting your skills or 

desires has come up. Have you moved or changed your phone number?"

     Tanner wrote down his address and the phone number of the front desk of the Grand Hotel and handed 

them to Miller.

     "Here is a list of temporary employment agencies. I can't personally recommend any of them but I 

haven't heard anything bad about any of them. Just expect to be doing hard work for very little real 

pay, no benefits worth mentioning and no

medical...I'll keep looking for other jobs for you. Keep in touch!"

     "Thank you Mr. Miller."

     After he left Miller's office, Tanner decided to make a random selection of temporary employment 

agencies. He looked at the second hand of his watch. It was 53 seconds past the minute so Tanner looked 

at the fifth temporary employment agencies's address. It was "Hard Charging Temps" and was located 

somewhere on South Alpine. Tanner liked the name and wandered out to his car.

 

     Tanner walked into the office of "Hard Charging Temps" and was immediately impressed with the 

appearance of the place. There were several private offices, an obvious storeroom (he could see storage 

racks in that room although the lights were off) and the receptionist was attentively looking around 

whilst talking on the phone. She nodded at Tanner and waved him over to a chair near her desk.

     She mouthed the words "Be right with you, sir" then

continued her conversation on the phone.

     After about a minute, the receptionist reached into one drawer and pulled out several forms. She 

put her hand over the microphone and said: "Are you applying for a job or do you wish to speak with 

anyone here?"

     "A job."

     "Then, please fill out these forms where they have been 'X'ed. There are pencils on the table over 

there."

     Jason nodded at the woman who had already returned to her phone call.

     The forms were fairly simple and the most important items asked for his job history and his 

references; somehow the job at GAFman Inc! didn't make it's way onto the resume form (which was 

fortunate for Tanner!). He put down his old leading Chief Petty officer, his old Division Officer, the 

Operations' officer of his old ship and LTjg Wilhite; he would later be told that LTjg Wilhite had not 

only written a glowing letter of recommendation but had asked Hard Charging Temps to try talking Tanner 

into rejoining the Navy.

     Tanner returned the forms to the receptionist who had

finally finished her phone call and was doing some paperwork. The woman glanced through the forms and 

murmured "too bad you didn't like the armed forces" and finally asked Tanner if he was looking for 

"light industrial work or clerical work?"

     "I've done both and I prefer office work."

     "Well, then, Bill, let's have you do the standard tests."     Tanner first took a timed typing 

test; Tanner was used to

computer terminals where he could move the cursor to correct his errors. The test was taken on an old 

IBM Selectric which did not have the erase key. Tanner was justifiably afraid that he had bombed the 

accuracy test. Tanner also felt good about the "find the misspelt word" test and the "filing system" 

test. Finally, he took a test that required him to first identify the values of a group of resistors 

(the receptionist had slipped him a pamphlet on how to read resistors codes and then retrieved it saying 

that she was glad that Tanner didn't need to learn the code on his own time.); Tanner thought he had 

done fairly well at making clean solder connections on the practical portion of the test.

     While the receptionist graded his test scores, Tanner drank some tepid coffee and ate a cement hard 

donut in a corner of the office labeled "Employees Lounge". He also read a pamphlet

entitled "Your Health Insurance" and ended up totally confused; the only clear thing about the pamphlet 

was that the price of insurance was not given.

     Tanner knew he had flunked the clerical tests and the

electronic tests when the receptionist handed him an orange slip with only the "Light Industrial 

Counselor" name highlighted. Once again, Tanner waited to be called.

     Tanner sat down next to a woman whose name plate read

"AMANDA MILEA" and recited the start of the "getting-to-know-a-stranger-routine":

     "Hi. I'm Bill Tanner."

     "I'm Amanda Milea. How are you today?"

     "Fine. How are you?" ("I should tell her I'm worried about my future and only strong medication is 

keeping my nose from running", Tanner thought).

     "Just fine, Bill." ("I should tell him that I'm worried about my son's grades, my feet hurt and 

it's almost that time of the month", Milea thought).

     They paused, then Milea continued.

     "Your scores weren't quite high enough for the clerical area and the electronics firms haven't been 

hiring much lately; in fact, most of the electronics firms have moved to either Taiwan or places in 

Mexico for the cheap labor. You are qualified for work in light industry. I see here that you're done a

considerable amount of clerical type work and have held

leadership positions. Also, you have worked with forklifts in the past and done warehouse type work. 

There is one place coming open tomorrow. The work description calls for a forklift operator in general 

extrusions at Larson Plastics Inc. Are you interested in this?"

     "Perhaps. The forklift work sounds like something I've done before but I'm not sure just what 

general extrusions means."      "The people at Larson Plastics take pellets of plastic, melt then in 

ovens and extrude them as sheets of plastic or rolls of

plastic sheeting. The job is about the highest paid we have and Larson almost always hires their 

temporaries after a three month probation period. Also, Larson requires employees to work for them six 

months before they start receiving medical, dental and other benefits; the three month probation period 

counts toward this time. The down side..."

     Tanner was street wise enough for now to think that the down side much be a doozie."

     "...side is that the place stinks. The work is hard, the plant is noisy and to be honest, the place 

stinks! But, beyond that, the work is good and very highly paid. They work 12-hour day shift and 12-hour 

night shifts. They work three days in a row and three days off. This means that some weeks you'll work 

36 hours and some weeks you'll get four hours overtime. However, we have a deal with them so that you'll 

be paid for a 40-hour week on the 36-hour weeks and receive the overtime on the 44-hour weeks."

     Tanner noticed that the "counselor" was acting like he had already taken the job; in a sense he had 

since it was his only option.

     "That sounds good, but, if the job doesn't work out, can I quit there without prejudice?"

     "You certainly may, Bill, we have plenty of assignments available!" ("But, if you do", Milea 

thought, "my boss will give you such poor assignments that you'll beg to be reassigned to Larson!)

     "How do I start there?"

     "You've already filled out the paperwork so let me give them a call!"

     Milea was on the phone for several minutes.

     "You're hired. Here is a map of where to go (Milea used a yellow marker to trace the route from 

Tanner's hotel to the Larson plant). Be there before 6 am and wear loose, sturdy

clothing. Bring a lunch and several drinks. Soft drinks are a nickel in their machine. You get a fifteen 

minute break in the morning and another in the afternoon; there is a twenty minute lunch break. The pay 

starts at $5.50/hour. You came in here around 8 am this morning so I can pay you for eight hours for 

today."

     Tanner rose with her and they shook hands before Tanner left with the map. Milea wondered why 

someone like Tanner wasn't going to school or wasn't trying to get a better job. Then, the

receptionist was waving another job applicant into her office and she forgot about Tanner.

     Tanner wandered around downtown Rockford for the rest of the day and returned to his hotel room 

where he had some "rice-beans-and-spam flavored coffee and washed it down with some diet 7-Up. He made 

several sandwiches and cooked some oatmeal; he had always like cold oatmeal with white sugar. His work 

clothing was still clean so he simply laid out fresh underwear and crashed early.     There was a 

parking lot in front of Larson Plastics Inc. that Tanner parked at; there was a sign that said "Salesmen 

Please Go Directly to the Sales Office". Tanner went in the nearest work entrance and wondered through a 

dimly lit room with several racks of 2x8 pine boards and storage racks that reached upwards at least 20 

feet. He went past a MEN room and walked up to a coffee machine. There were several young men sitting 

around acting bored and in the distance, other young men were stacking sheets of plastic. An androndous 

individual walked by and entered the WOMAN room. No one took any notice of Tanner.

      "Excuse me", Tanner addressed one sleeping specimen, "I just got hired. Where do I go?"

     "Just wait here an' the foreman will talk to ya."

     The young man Tanner had spoken with wore a single earring in his left earlobe. Glancing around at 

the other young men revealed him to be the only "ringed" specimen in the room.

     At 5:58 am, the men who were standing around like statues or seated like statues suddenly came to 

life and the eight men went to pull their time cards and were clocked in by 6 am. Three men wondered 

over to one young man who assigned them to tasks that were mysterious to Tanner and the rest went to the 

machinery to relieve others. There wasn't much talking at the relief and Tanner thought that the Navy 

would never have condoned such sloppiness. But, "what the fuck", Tanner thought; this definitely wasn't 

the Navy!

     Shortly after 6 am, another man wondered over from within the maze of equipment and asked Tanner 

"is this where new hires go?"

     "I hope so!"

     At around 6:15 am, when Tanner was wondering if he had screwed up again and gone to the wrong place 

(he knew he was already fired), a man in his thirties wondered over.

     "I suppose you're Tanner and Lee Martin?"

     "I'm Bill Tanner."

     "I'm Bob LeMartin."

     "Well, Bill, you're a temporary and Bob you're here as a full time employee. Bill, any benefits you 

get will have to come from the temporary agency. Bob, you're eligible for medical and some dental 

benefits in four months. Both of you are eligible for death benefits...although none has died here and 

we've gone 109 days without any accidents."

     The man handed them both some forms and pens.

     "I am Larry Stinson the strawboss. You'll meet the foreman when you turn your time cards in today. 

If you see him any other time, hopefully it'll just be to see him checking out things or wondering 

around. OK? He's a nice enough guy but remember he's pimping for management!"

     "

     This took Tanner by surprise but he later learned that the foreman had worked for the strawboss 

several years before and the change in status had not gone smoothly. Still, the two men got along well 

enough.

     "Just fill out these forms and I'll be over around 6:30 or so."

     The forms seemed to ask for much of the same information although they had a definite slant on 

safety and previous

training. Tanner was done before 6:30 but the strawboss didn't return until almost 7 am. That was fine 

since the other "new hire" seemed to have trouble filling out the forms.

     "You two have any questions?"

     Both "new hires" nodded no.

     "Good! Put these ear plugs in, you can get extras from the supply closet. Tanner, you're working 

pellets. Martin, you're

working extrusion."

Tanner remembered that his job was supposed to be working with forklifts; he thought it would be 

best to wait and see if he was offered the job.

     While they had waited for the strawboss, Tanner had been watching his fellow employees go by. 

Several young men had

earrings, there was one black woman whose shirt was far too small; the shirt had ample gaps between the 

buttons which showed her bra and her ample cleavage; Tanner hoped to see her body better and 

unfortunately, for her, he would later.

The room they were in was huge with enigmatic machines filling it. To his left, was some kind of 

enclosed room that hung just below the ceiling. It reminded him of the control room in main engineering 

of his last ship. There were young men pulling sheets of plastic off the ends of the machines facing his 

side of the room; other young men wondered around tending the machines and several people were driving 

fork lifts around or just walking with that "I know what I'm doing and where I'm going look."

A man with a nametag of "Bob" nodded at Tanner and motioned him to follow. They went down a 

"road" painted on the concrete floor and to the back of one of the machines. Yelling at Tanner to be 

heard over the din of the machines, "Bob" said:

"We have to keep enough pellets in this box so the hopper on the extruder won't run out. Just 

shovel the pellets from this box and let me know when it's about to run out. As long as the box is full, 

sweep up around here or at least look busy."

With that, Tanner's introduction to his new work environment was completed. By 7 15 am, Tanner 

felt like he had been there forever and the though of working this job for years was a depressing one. 

He could feel waves of giddy, mind numbing, boredom starting to flow through him. It didn't help that he 

was also getting tired. Tanner was sure he had slipped into a time warp where, for his punishment, the 

seconds shown on his wrist watch had been lengthened out to years!

Around 8 am, he saw people begin filtering out through the machines and out a back door. There 

were a number of women mixed with them and they were wearing hair nets. Some of the young men from 

Tanner's shop were among them including "Bob" and the straw boss. Trying not to be too obvious, Tanner 

walked past the door, picked up a dust pan and returned to his box of plastic pellets. There was a large 

group of people clustered around a roach coach and Tanner's coworkers were obviously eating as fast as 

they could and gulping drinks. They weren't outside more than five minutes.

Around 9 am, "Bob" yelled at Tanner that his morning break was due and to be back by 9 20 am. 

Tanner then stuck his foot in his mouth.

"Is that roach coach still out there?"

"What!"

"I had to get a dust pan and noticed a roach coach out back."

"That's already gone. Our breaks come too late for us to use it."

"I though I saw some guys from here go out there."

"You just saw the folks from the other side of the building go out there on their breaks. None 

of use are supposed to be out there."

"OK. I'll be back by 9 20 am."

"Interesting", Tanner thought, "'Bob' must have a twin or be working double shift in two 

offices. I damn sure saw him sneak out there."

The break was spent taking a piss, drinking a lot of water and getting directed to the break 

room. He had all of three minutes to sit down before it was time to return. It was the flip side of the 

time warp; time had sped up in the break room. If Tanner had been a bit more introspective, he would 

have realized that boredom, despair and a feeling of having screwed himself was working on him. But he 

wasn't.

Twice, Tanner had to hunt down "Bob" when he needed extra pellets. "Bob" wasn't thrilled at 

being summoned.

When Tanner was told to go to lunch, it seemed like he had spent days bending over his shovel. 

He took a quick look at the machine he had been feeding while on his way to feeding himself.

     A metal hose led from the box he had been filling to a large tank on the back of the machine; this 

box was reached by climbing up a ladder to a platform. This box led to the melting tube which melted the 

pellets and extruded them between two rollers. The rollers had patterns on their surfaces and could be 

set at different separations which allowed different thicknesses of plastic to be extruded. Knifes were 

set to score the plastic so that it could be broken down the middle or so that the jagged edges could be 

trimmed off. At the far end was the "puller" who pulled the plastic sheets off and stacked them. His job 

was fast, physical and less boring than shoveling plastic as Tanner was to find out; when you have to 

worry about screwing up a process you tend to be less bored. The machine was large, noisy, incredibly 

smelly and fascinated Tanner. There was one other person, an operator, who changed the rollers, set the 

temperatures and knives and ran the machine.

The operator's work was not very physical; on subsequent days Tanner was to see the operator 

reading a plastic industry magazine while Tanner was humping the load to get "his" plastic sheets 

properly processed.

Tanner strolled back to "his" pellet box just before his allotted 20 minute lunch break was 

over; there was someone else working "his" box. Tanner looked around for another shovel but saw none. 

Finally, he went looking for "Bob".

"Didn't you know? You're supposed to be working the front end for the rest of the day."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Just go tell the guy up front that you're going to be helping him."

Tanner wondered up front and began watching the "puller" who was humping.

"I'm here to help you."

"Well, pull the trim off the edges, pop them down the middle and stack 'um here. Keep track of 

how many you pull."

The first board Tanner tried to bob in half bent but didn't break and then slipped out of his 

hands. His "teacher" just looked disgusted and handled three boards before Tanner got his first trimmed. 

Tanner's hands were beginning to turn raw and red when the strawboss handed him a pair of heavy work 

gloves. The excess plastic trimmed off the edges and some boards Tanner bend up went onto a stack on one 

side of the machine. Tanner was just too busy to care about who had to dispose of the excess.

"Wear this damn things or the plastic can cut you good."

By the end of the day, Tanner was looking back on the pellet loading as light work. He had drank 

frequently from the water fountain, his inner thighs were raw from rubbing against his blue jeans and he 

was more than ready to go home. His co-worker had another tidbit of joy to offer:

"You'd better speed up tomorrow. I'm only going to help you tomorrow and the next day. Next week 

you're on yur own."

"Mr. Helpful" left at five minutes before 6 pm. Tanner waited for his relief to show up at 6 pm 

and tried to give him a passdown of how many sheets they had pulled. The "relief" ignored Tanner, 

eyeballed the stack and went to read a newspaper that was tossed against the machine. The machine itself 

was shutdown awaiting the new operator.

Tanner clocked out and left feeling invisible.

No one ever told Tanner why he was shitcanned from the pellet boxes to the pulling end of the 

extruders; he figured it was more "fuck with the temporaries". Later, he would learn that this was true.

When Tanner hobbled into the hotel, the other residents were either out or in their rooms and he 

went to his untroubled by any companionship. He threw his work cloths into a corner, drew a tub of hot 

water and tried not to scream when the hot water hit his raw thighs. The pain subsided and after a 

while, Tanner felt up to eating a couple of sandwiches. He laid out a different set of work clothing for 

the next day and went to sleep early.

The second day went quicker and the work had become easier. The talcum powder on his thighs 

really helped. It was in the afternoon that he was introduced to the shredder.

"Waste not, want not" is a good idea.

If it is done right.

It didn't take Leonard Tanner, QM1, USNformerly, once highly concerned with safety aboard ship, 

long to see that it wasn't being done right.

The shredder had a box sticking up about a foot above the work floor with a thick rubber mat 

over the opening. The mat was clamped back, away from the opening, so as to provide no obstruction 

between the opening and the blades inside. The clamps looked rusted shut.

The raw material for the plastic extrusion process was the pellets that Tanner wished he was 

still shoveling. He know learned that the waste plastic and defective boards were recycled thru the 

shredder and were blown into the bin on the back of the machine. Sounded good.

"Don't stand there, start shoving that shit down here!"

Tanner began shoving the strips of plastic down the hole into the shredder as fast as he could.

"Hey! Not so fast! If you put too much down, the shredder will jam up when the plastic melts on 

the blades!"

"OK, how can I tell if the fucking thing is overheating."

"You'll learn how."

"Great advise", Tanner thought, "just fucking great advise!"

The rest of the second day went fairly quickly with Tanner able to hold his own most of the 

time. What made the shredder interesting was that sometimes the blades bit into a board wrong and the 

board could be whipped around. Sometimes, boards were shoved backwards out of the slot.

The third day was uneventful albeit very boring. Tanner was looking forward to his days off. He 

was told once to "take it easy with the shredder, the grind is coming back in big clumps and still damn 

hot."

That night, he waved at some of his neighbors when he got home and tossed his third set of 

civilian work clothing into a heap in the closet. The next day's schedule had "laundry" as it's top 

concern.

//got to work up the social life he is having during his 3 days off. it could be as bad as mine when in 

barracks or it could be as decent as when i was in college, the "Q" or OCS.//

 

The pattern of three 12-hour days and three days off was fine on the days off but got old very 

quickly by the third working day. //I should move this sentence to a later portion of the story.//

The first of his three day work stretch seemed to go OK. Since he had bothered coming back, his 

co-workers accepted him as a regular. More to the point, they accepted him as a familiar face. Tanner 

and "his operator" spent the first two hours making single width boards. All Tanner had to do was remove 

the excess plastic from the edges and keep track of how many boards he had pulled. These were destined 

to be dashboards on somebodies's pickup trucks (none cared whose brand) and they knew that the buyer 

would be counting. Tanner made sure to put a few extra in.

The accident occurred about 8 45 am.

The black woman, DeVora, who was the only woman in that part of the shop, had been shoving 

plastic strips and boards into the shredder. Tanner had been glancing at her when she bent over and 

truly enjoyed the sight of her cleavage through the gaps in her shirt. He had been thinking of talking 

with DeVora that evening since their breaks never overlapped; he didn't get the chance. Actually, he was 

hoping to see more of her breasts and the rest of her; he would and would regret the looking for years 

to come.

Tanner heard the woman scream, saw her jerk and pat desperately at her shirt. There was a 

massive bruise showing on her chest and blood running down.

Tanner ran to get the first aid kit while the assistant foreman seated DeVora on a crate. The 

EMTs arrived several minutes later, opened her shirt and removed her bra to evaluate the damage. Tanner 

enjoyed the sight of her large nipples and her breasts were even more attractive that he had thought. It 

was the grapefruit sized bruise centered on her sternum that turned his stomach and haunted him for 

years.

The ambulance hauled the DeVora off; Tanner never saw her again but later heard that she was 

unable to work and was on workman's comp for most of a year. She did later thank him for the sympathy 

card although it was doubtful if she could have recognized Tanner on the street. Tanner would remember 

what she looked like for decades to come.

Towards the end of his first month at Larson Plastics, Tanner and several of "the boys" got 

together at a little strip bar in downtown Rockford. None could remember the place's name and they are 

referred to it by "Girls! Girls! Girls!"; this was what the dive's marquee read.

Tanner noticed early that Dave Sillings never seemed to look at the "dancers"; he spent his time 

talking or just looking preoccupied.

"Lennie, what were you doing before you started working here? I heard you were a 'squid'."

"I was a quartermaster first on the USS Blue Ridge. It was good duty but I got tired of being at 

sea."

"So why did you get out?"

"I got tired of being at sea. I got tired of, damn, I got tired of everything, I guess. 

Sometimes, I have trouble remembering why I got out."

"I remember why I got out. Seemed that life was getting too complicated, that I was juggling too 

many things at once. Doesn't look so bad now that I look back." Sillings looked pensive.

The next several minutes were quiet with Tanner enjoying the sight of the nude "dancers" and 

watching some of his co-workers.

"Did you see that! Manny looks like a puppy dog panting at a child playmate the way he's staring 

at this 'dancer'!"

"The other guys are loving it?"

"Yeah."

"Manny tries too hard to be 'one of the boys'."

"You're saying he's not?" Tanner was slightly startled.

"Nope, he's not, he'd rather be with one of the 'boys' then to be one of the boys. If you get 

what I mean," Sillings continued.

"In other words," Tanner mused, "he looks like he's having a 'gay old time' in the old fashioned 

sense of the word when he'd rather have it in the current sense of the word?"

"Yes, I believe he would."

"Well, I hope he doesn't catch anything."

"Are you saying you don't care? You were a senior petty officer!"

"Was is right. Not that I really gave a damn when I was on board ship. However, I'm a silly-

villain now and still don't give a shit who fucks who."

"Among consenting adults," Sillings murmured.

"True."

After a few minutes and another pitcher of beer between the two, Tanner continued with their 

conversation.

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Don't mind; do you mind if I don't tell the truth?"

"Nah. Did you getting out of the Navy have anything to do with you being so sure about Manny?"

"Could be. Probably. Might be." Sillings took a chug of beer and got up to head for the men's 

head. He leaned over to speak directly into Tanner's ear. "Everything as you've guessed. But I didn't 

say that."

"Didn't hear it," was Tanner's reply.

After Sillings returned from the head, Tanner continued with their conversation.

"My chief once told me that during the 'Nam war, there were division and department lounges 

where guys were smoking pot. They'd smuggled it aboard in they laundry or shit they'd bought ashore or 

some such. He said that it was well known but somehow none talked to the chiefs or the officers and no 

one had the balls to rat on the smokers. There were true stories going around of blanket parties and 

squealers 'falling overboard' on dark, dark, nights."

"On my ship, the USS America, there's a two story vertical ladder you have to climb to git out 

of the boiler rooms. Seems one sailor 'lost his grip' and fell backwards from the top of the ladder. No 

one noticed him and he died of his injuries. Seems that there was a partial bootprint on his shirt like 

someone had pushed him off when he was at the top of the ladder."

"Wasn't there an investigation?"

"Not really. N.I.S. (Naval Investigative Service) worried about him being a faggot and evidence 

of a murder got hushed up."

"Was he gay?" Although Tanner was straight, the thought of murder offended him. It had taken 

Tanner years to get over his own fear of homosexuality and he instinctively felt that everyone should 

share his enlightenment.

"He was. He was a friend of mine although no one else knew it and we didn't have any official 

contact on ship. I was a Legalman second class and worked for the XO; he was a Boiler Tech. I still miss 

him. It was after his murder that I got out. Didn't want to stay on a ship that would allow this murder 

to be  covered up."

"Every heard of a congress critter named Barney something or another? Write him and he could 

start an investigation."

"I know who you mean, Barney Frank and I think I'll give him an anonymous letter."

"Type it at the library. Use gloves when handling the envelope and your letter. Use a stamped 

envelope and tap water not spit to close it. Buy a handful of stamped envelopes so that you won't touch 

the envelope; wearing gloves at the Post Office would get noticed. Use a fresh box of typing paper. Be 

paranoid."

"Sure."

"Paranoid." Tanner cut his eyes to his left to let Sillings know that they had company arriving. 

"Paranoid."

"Paranoid 'bout what?" It was their friend from Larson; the one with the bloodshot eyes who 

liked "smoking mother nature" and who was nicknamed "red eyes".

"We were talking about being on ship when we were in the Navy. About places the dope smokers 

used to go to enjoy a joint." Tanner knew this stoned kid wouldn't pick up on the double meaning; 

Sillings obviously did.

"Well," Sillings began, "when people think of ships they think of movies of subs or destroyers. 

Ships where racks are crammed in among the machinery or is open bay barracks; ships were there was no 

privacy and apparently no places unoccupied at night. On a carrier, there were a lot of offices or 

workshops that were unoccupied at night. Equipment lockers, paint lockers, storage areas and sometimes 

large sections of decks where only the fire and security watches went at night. In fact, up in the bow 

just under the flight deck, were large structural supports for bracing the nose of the flightdeck. 

People sometimes went in there 'cause the interiors were hidden from the passageways. There were half 

decks accessible from locked doors. Doors locked with spring locks."

"I used to get into my office quicker using my ID card than using the key."

"Huh."

"Larry popped the spring lock with his Identification Card", Sillings murmured to "red eyes".

"I knew of storage spaces on the Blue Ridge that were damn hard to get to and required you to go 

through berthing spaces and down access ladders. There were a lot of places you could get into mischief 

but there were also people walking around most of the time. Kind made a contest out of finding a hiding 

place or finding when a public place was private. I knew guys who made a game of it."

"Sounds like fun". "Red eyes" drank some of their beer and wondered off in the general direction 

of head.

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure," Sillings replied, "but ask it anyway."

"What's it like to suck cock?"

"What's it like to eat pussy?"

"Not much taste if'fn it's clean, tastes damn awful if she's got mucous down there. My mouth 

gets tired after a while. It's mostly the thrill of making her happy and the thought of 'I'm really 

doing this'" Kind hard to explain; you should try it."

"Don't think I will. Well, sucking cock is a lot like what you just said except cum can taste 

awful. I like sucking on a lemon before sucking on a cock; just changes the taste a little. You should 

try it."

"Don't think I will."

With that, both men cracked up and that killed the conversation. An hour or so later, the party 

broke up and they went their separate ways for their three day weekend.

Their first day back to work, Sillings seemed to be avoiding Tanner. This was a bit difficult to 

do since they worked adjoining machines and were relieved for breaks at the same time. The morning 

break, Tanner went to the break room as usual but Sillings didn't. Tanner ate lunch quickly then looked 

around for Sillings who he found outside at a picnic table usually frequented by people from a different 

division.

"Hi, you pissed at me?"

"No," Sillings replied, "just a little embarrassed to be around you."

"Why? I like you and don't mind your preferences."

"Well, I like you too and don't want you to think," he paused, "that there is anything more to 

it. You're not my type."

"Fine. I don't want anything that would cause me problems. This is the mid west, remember?"

"Good. Just friends?"

"Sounds good to me," Tanner replied.

They ate their lunches in the mild sunlight in the emptiness of the picnic area. It was a cool 

day but after sweating all morning inside, the air felt good.

"What was it like on ship?"

"We had to be damn careful about who we approached. Then, too there was having enough time for 

everything. For instance, a blowjob was quickest and could be done in a berthing area. You could zip up 

quick if anyone came in. Hand jobs were next although it could be hard to hide the hand cream and it 

does smell. Cuddling and intercourse was the hardest 'cause a nude man really can't hide what he's been 

doing."

"I heard of one guy on the Blue Ridge who got tired of living with a hundred other men. So, he 

swiped a couple of mattresses from an empty berthing area and put them in a void. Added a table lamp and 

got a chair from somewhere. Had paperbacks from the ship's library and the Chaplain's office. We didn't 

find out about him until the ship was in drydock for a minor availability (i.e. overhaul period) and 

somebody discovered his hidey hole. They found a couple of envelopes and called him up at home. He was a 

civilian by then. They were thinking about charging him with theft but my division officer told me that 

the Captain didn't want to look bad in front of the type commander. They just returned everything to 

where they though it belonged and let the matter die!"

"We had some void crawlers on the America."

 

 

 

//footnote #1 on the WP version: I worked at Gage Industries in Lake Oswego, Oregon, the spring of 1989. 

The events happening to Tanner happened to me with one exception.//

 

//footnote #2 on the WP version: I didn't see the woman who never returned; she was on workman's comp 

for four months the last I heard.//

he saw an ad that infuriated him.

 Woman: Hi, I'm home from my 8 day business trip.

  kids: Hi dear, hi mom

 woman: what's for dinner...i want steak!

   kid: mrs small made a pork cassorrell for tonight...can she stay.

 Woman: no, dear, she should go home now. I'm here and will cook dinner.

husband enters

 woman: hi dear! (bright, happy voice)

husband: oh...hi dear (tone of voice: oh shit! she is back)...how was your trip (desperate enthusianism)

 woman: fine! i just...

husband: can mrs small stay...she made pork steaks last week and was talking about port cassorell 

tonight..."

 woman: i just want to get unpacked...(what her husband has interrupted her with sinks in)...No! she 

can't stay! I don't want pork!"

 family:"but EVERYONE says pork is the other white meat"

 woman: (sighs) oh..OK..ok...lets have mrs. small's pork and maybe she can teach me some of her recipes 

tomorrow."

family embraced her...middle aged woman, obviously mrs small, is looking on in delight at this family 

scene...

Bill was infuriated! He was infuriated at the thought that anyone would hire a woman to come in 

to cook and clean house when there was a "father" present who could do the shopping and

cooking; infuriated that the teenaged children weren't doing the dishes and helping their father with 

the house cleaning and the laundry; infuriated that the ad was done in a house which spoke of a wealth 

and a standard of living as far out of randy's reach as the moon was above his rented room's window. 

Underneath this rage was the pain of knowing that he could have hired a "Mrs Small" himself before he 

had left the navy mere months before. Tanner wasn't much good at facing pain straight up, he preferred 

to mask it with rage or booze and just hope that the hell of ruined dreams and other pain would slip 

away like water thru sand at the beach. Unfortunately, there were always little catch basins underneath 

the sand and that water always found them and stagnated there; growing things best not seen and best not 

to have around; catch basins of poisoned water that were never leaving, just spreading their poison 

under the sand where it couldn't be seen.

 

     Bill suddenly realized that GAFman, Inc. might even sue him someday in an attempt to recover it's 

workman comp loses. He decided he had better plan a little bit of deception since he knew that there was 

a seven year limit on suits.

     After thinking for a moments, he got up and checked to see how much change he had in his pockets 

and then went down the hall to the pay phone. He called his third cousin, James Elbert

Winston.

     "Hi, Jimmy, this is Bill Tanner."

     "Hiya Billy-boy! We haven't heard from you in most of a year! Your momma said you'd just got out of 

the Navy."

     "Yup, just did, about to go back in. Working here wasn't what I thought it would be like and I kind 

miss being on ships."       "When you going back, Bill?"

     "In a couple of weeks. I'd like to come visit but don't have the time...or gas money for that 

matter."

     "Times are getting tough here too."

     "Anyway, I really called 'cause I need your legal advise."     His cousin was a lawyer in 

Higgins county, Michigan and his cousin's wife was the local justice of the peace as well as the town 

historian.

     "Ask away, cousin, I'm charging you the usual fee."

     The usual fee was that Tanner would have to buy his cousin and wife a good dinner the next time 

they saw each other.

     "I was working for this place in town called 'GAFman, Inc.' and they had all the employees take a 

flu shot. I had a bad reaction to the shot and went to the hospital and charged it to 'workman's comp'. 

GAFman is claiming that I signed a waiver saying that they weren't responsible for the sickness. A 

couple of the boys there told me that they are planning on sueing me."

      "They could too. They could say that everyone there had signed and that you stole the waiver 

form."

     "Interesting you would put it that way, Jimmy, this friend of mine was saying that the boss there 

was giving people bribes to sign waivers dated to the day that the shots were given. No W-2s or any 

paperwork. Most are taking a free paycheck this way. Some are refusing."

     "Well, let me ask you a question. What's the turnover rate there at GAFman?"

     "Pretty high. The old boy I was friends with, named George, is about to go work for a car 

manufacturer near Rockford. The other guy is fixing to retire in about two years."

     "Well, Billy, it looks like any witness who can say that there was fraud in the waiver signing will 

be gone in two, three, years. That is when they'd sue you."

     "Yup, that was what I was afraid was going to happen."      "Well, don't worry about it. You can 

just move up here and make sure you don't tell anyone you're going back in the Navy. Where are you going 

anyway?"

     "Going to 'returnees boot camp' in San Diego and then to a ship out of Guam after I graduate from 

'returnees camp'. I don't expect to be in the upper Midwest for some time to come."

     "Good idea, just tell everyone that you're moving up here to room with us. We never mentioned it 

but we sometimes take in roomers. The local literary magazine runs personnel ads. We can put in an ad 

for 'rooms to rent' in the March issue and send it to you."

     "March issue?"

     "The editor is four months behind since she just finished her last year of pre-med. She says that 

the March through June issues will be out in a couple of weeks. The only problem is that she's got April 

through June printed up and I'm still proofreading March. Kind awkward to be putting March out after 

June but what the hell? I'll have the ad inserted in just a jiffy."

      There was a longish pause and Tanner had to deal with the operator for some more of his quarters.

     "You'll be getting your copy in about a week and I'll put you down in the books as being a 

subscriber. If they ever come out this way, you'll be covered."

     "OK."

     "I'll send a March, April, May and June to your old navy address and the July issue to whatever the 

hell your current address is."

     Tanner then gave his cousin his new address.

     "Well, Billy boy, if anything comes up, I'll be getting in touch with you. I know this is costing 

you a lot of money so I'll just send you a letter. Debbie Sue says 'hi' and gives you her love. Take 

care, Bill."

     "Yeah. Thanks Jim and you'll have to come out to Guam if you want a dinner from me!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     Five months after leaving the Navy, Tanner was standing the morning watch on the flying bridge of 

the USS Enterprise. He was "dead heading" across to Guam as a Supernumery on the watch bill. Although he 

could have flown on Air Crappy (Air Contienal), he was able to arrange for passage on ship; the shore 

whores in personnel simply couldn't understand his delight at being "haze gray and underway". His job 

was leading QM (quartermaster) of the watch. It was a quiet morning; the morning twilight was about to 

start and Tanner felt a peacefulness in his heart and soul that hadn't truly been there for a long time.

     "Quiet morning", a bulky figure in khakis and a ship's ballcap murmured.

     "Yes, sir, it is." Tanner didn't know the officer or chief petty officer he was speaking to then 

but figured a "sir" couldn't hurt. "There is something monastic about being at sea and this is probably 

the best time of the day."

     "Yes, there is," the other man eventually said, "it's the main reason I keep coming back to sea."

     The sun was just peaking up through a layer of pink colored cumulus.

     "There is something about being at sea that puts everything into perspective. I like the work, I 

like the people I work with and I like knowing that what I do matters. I remember civilian life as being 

disorganized, no teamwork, no one caring about much and a lot of folks just hanging on. Sir. (the "sir" 

was added as an afterthought which didn't bother Tanner's listener)."

     "I really don't know about civilians, Petty Officer Tanner but I know sailors who care about this 

life. What does your wife think of this?"

     "I'm not married, sir. Not yet anyway, we're hoping to 'tie the knot' in about a year. We both 

figure it would be a good idea to be sure we're ready."

     "Sensible. What would you change if you were my leading QM?"      "That is a hard question to 

answer, sir, without stepping on someone's toes."

     "I'll worry about that sailor. The navigator isn't going to be offended, I know him pretty well."

     "With all the electronics we have onboard, no one is doing the morning star shots. I know that the 

sat nav (satellite navigation system), LORAN, radar navigation and GPS (Global Positioning System) have 

our location pegged pretty tightly. However, electronics can go bad and if we were ever to have to man 

the life rafts, it would be nice if folks could still do sight reductions. I think it would be good for 

the QMs to do morning "rings" (a series of star shots). I say the QMs since I know the bridge officers 

are too busy with flight ops and the Navigator is too busy with planning operations."

     "Good point. You can get..."

     "Captain, you're needed on the bridge" stuttered a young sailor.

     "...get together with the QM Leading Chief later today and work it out. Let me know tomorrow 

morning how it turns out."      With that the Captain left the flying bridge. It occurred to Tanner that 

in the week he had been aboard the Enterprise, his schedule had somehow never brought him into contact 

with the Monarch of the Enterprise.

     Several minutes later, Tanner went back onto the bridge and to the QM shack; actually a small 

office. There, he took position readings from the various navigation systems and verified the deduced or 

ded. reckoning track that the junior QMs had been running. There were just a few touchups he felt 

compelled to perform and then he updated the position report. The junior officer of the deck, a LTjg, 

took Tanner's report out to the Captain and his bridge staff.

     At 7 am, the QMs were relieved and they went below for breakfast to the aft messdeck. The "egg 

chef" was in a talkative mood. 

     "Another fine day at sea, 'eh".

     "Yup, clear skies this morning and will probably be a nice, sunny, day. I'm going to enjoy it."

     "You deck apes. Get to sun yourselves and it's part of your jobs. Must be nice."

     "It is, don't you ever go on the roof (the flight deck)?"      "Nah, I don't have time. I figure 

I'll see the sun when we get into port."

     Tanner knew that the cook's berthing space was just below the mess deck, their TV lounge was is a 

nearby berthing space and the ship's library was just down the passageway from the galley; the cook 

could easily spend his life without leaving an area of the ship the size of a regular house. The 

personnel office and a ship's barber shop were forward of this messdeck but the cook's hair was so short 

as to look almost shaven; Tanner had heard that some of the cooks were in the habit of getting such 

short haircuts in their quarters from one of ship servicemen; the ship serviceman or ship's barber was 

receiving regular donut allotments in return. All of these spaces could be reached without going near 

passageways that lead outside. The cook didn't need to endanger his delicate eyes with any exposure to 

the sun!

    sets up rings of sights with the Qe QM LCPO

    takes the first set the next morning

    CO is appreciative...gets good eval when departing

Enterprise...

     talked to his friend the AG1 who mentioned a SA article about making mead in fall 1972. Tanner 

wondered why this man smiled at the honey on the mess decks on midrats; sees the man's homemade mead in 

jars in the half deck on the O-3 level.

Eventually, this mead is found and drank in the cpo mess...years later by a cpo who had been an AG3 at 

the time.

The day before leaving the Enterprise at Guam, Tanner was sitting in the Navigator's office 

reading the message logs. One message concerned personnel begin flown out to the ship that day from 

Guam. There was one name among the collection familiar to him; the irony of situation brought a smile to 

his face in spite of his attempt to hide it.

Later that morning, Tanner picked up some supplies for the Navigator's Office Coffee mess and 

added an extra item.

...

Just coming off a ladder leading to the flight deck was his old friend from Rockford, Legalman 

2nd Class Sillings. When Tanner was sure he had Sillings' attention, he tossed the extra item, a ripe 

lemon, to Sillings.

"Welcome aboard, shipmate."

"Thanks, I think."

"Lets get you checked into the Ship's Office. You are going going to be working for the XO."

     "No 

...decides to go back into Navy but is turned off when the recruiter says he has to take a bust to QM2. 

Sees Regan's Boyhood Home and the rich-bitches in their 1930 antiques - decides he will take the bust. 

Gets lucky when he toughs out not accepting the bust - the recruiter LCDR tells the recruiter GM1 to 

take him as a QM1 - Tanner is told later that LTjg Whilhite had been checked with and had recommended 

Tanner to stay a 1st. Whilhite had become involved when the recruiter office asked for Tanner's 

records...

...tanner makes up a rotation of evening and morning star shots...

...tanner sits in at a retention meeting and tells the unvarnished truth which shows up in higher 

retention figures and becomes known to the  CO...

Tanner sends a post card to LTjg Wilhite telling me that he's back in the Navy; thinks it looks better.

Tanner sends a post card with a picture of him, the navigator and the CO of carrier attached. Says its 

the first fun he's had in months.

Whilhite writes back saying he was sure Tanner would have re-enlisted.

Tanner send letter to LT Whilhite from the ex-Cutter. 

Whilite goes to Guam as a LT; Tanner invites him to his weding; the two families live fairly close in 

Orote Point Housing.

Tanner tells Whilhite "I'm going to really stick it to you...I want you to be my attorney at my Chief's 

Initation!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     Five years later, Warrant Officer Tanner got a letter from his cousin. The letter went:

          You remember that little "scam" we pulled off years ago with you moving up here? Well, a 

couple of lawyers representing "GAFman, Inc." came up here looking for you. They said they were tracing 

you and were planning on suing you for "workman's comp fraud". It seems that your social security got 

erased off of your job application and that they screwed up your social security number on your W-2. 

Seems that someone scribbled on it. I think that they're real pissed off at you for not putting you SSN 

down on the workman's comp forms or medical forms. It was your legal right and they're pissed off at you 

for that.

          The IRS is telling them that without your correct SSN, they can't help GAFman, Inc. and won't 

let GAFman go fishing through their records to thy finding you. They didn't tell me this, by the way, I 

do some work for their local representative (Tanner knew that his cousin meant the IRS agent) and she 

told me this.

          We're sending you this letter from your Aunt Jeanne's house since those investigators working 

for GAFman look dumb enough to try checking our mail.  (Tanner thought that his cousin was a bit 

paranoid but he was glad for it. Tanner had been

sending his letters to one of his cousin's professional PO boxes for years anyway. Tanner had been 

getting a reject copy of

literary magazine that his cousin had been sending him privately for years. His subscription was 

considered a "donation" and was in cash.)

          Anyway, I showed them that change of address card you filled out and they went off to Northern 

Michigan looking for you there. I still don't know how you got the idea of pretending to move there but 

they bought it. A lot of folks up there do casual work for the county and fish the back lakes when the 

game warden ain't around. Of course, the cops will say it ain't true, but, I know folks who have 

relatives doing this. They don't talk to outsiders either about insiders and you'd be an insider by now. 

Even through none can remember seeing you lately. You just stay "under cover" for two more years and 

you'll be away clean.

     Tanner put down the letter and thought about it for a couple of minutes. He had not had any contact 

with the people in

Rockford for several years and was no longer stationed out of Guam anyway; he and his family were living 

in Newport Rhode Island. His wife, Elizabeth Bergen, had just been promoted to Warrant Officer herself 

and was going to "knife and fork school" in Pensacola Florida. "Knife and fork school" was the four week 

Navy training course for "fresh caught" warrant officers. It would be nice to see her back home again; 

his adopted daughter was in the third grade and Tanner had to go to "Parent Teacher night" and was 

feeling very strange about it. His adopted

daughter wanted "her dad" to make a good impression and was fussing at him about his tie, jacket, etc.

     Tanner decided that he would make pork steaks for dinner when his wife returned home.

    

      

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Things to mention in the discussion of his job:

earring wearing contest

woman getting busted sternum

guy getting fired for drinking in parking lot

guys with dilated irisus

changing the equipment

jamming the shredder

cleanup whilst things are very quiet

     

     

     

////////////////-cut line-////////////////////////////////           Tanner's irony was a subtle as 

shutting off one's

electricity as a way of saying "pay your electric bill"!

     "So they stuck it to you. You didn't pay for the medical insurance and haven't signed any dangerous 

paperwork. You have three choices: Get another job, go back in the service or go on welfare. Welfare is 

out since you sold back leave time and can work. You haven't been out of the Navy long enough to be 

nostalgic but if you're going back in, you'd better decide soon! That leaves getting a job."

     Tanner nodded.

     "You can try looking for other places to work but probably your best bet is to go to a temporary 

help agency and get hired on somewhere while you look for a real job. DON'T just stick with Rockford or 

Love's Park or Machesney Park. Think about Chicago or Oregon or Mt. Morris. Freeport is a good place to 

look and is fairly close."

     "OK. Did anything come up for me?"

     Miller begin tapping keys on his computer and after a moment said "Nothing meeting your skills or 

desires has come up. Have you moved or changed your phone number?"

     Tanner wrote down his address and the phone number of the front desk of the Grand Hotel and handed 

them to Miller.

     "Here is a list of temporary employment agencies. I can't personally recommend any of them but I 

haven't heard anything bad about any of them. Just expect to be doing hard work for very little real 

pay, no benefits worth mentioning and no

medical...I'll keep looking for other jobs for you. Keep in touch!"

     "Thank you Mr. Miller."

     After he left Miller's office, Tanner looked at the second hand of his watch. It was 53 seconds 

past that minute that Tanner looked at the fifth temporary employment agencies's address. It was "Hard 

Charging Temps" and was located somewhere on South Alpine. Tanner liked the name and wandered out to his 

car.

 

     

          

///Notes: a. make sure number of days off is correct

          b. have George go with tanner to Reagan's boyhood house           c. get a better handle on 

the timing of this story.           d. have Tanner visit his relatives!

     

@ outline

next couple of days of recovery

spends weekend reading in library

      starts reading navy times

goes in on Moanday and finds out he was fired

      foreman gives him final check and tries to 

      trick him into signing waiver

    gets W-2 and after leaving discovers that the 

      W-2 has wrong SSN--says "fuck it" and leaves

goes back "home" and tells others what has

      happened

starts reading the "help wanted" section of paper

pays a visit to restraunt to talk with the               waitress and gets free breakfast

starts looking for jobs but has no luck

***during this time...has conversations with fellow residents in lobby***

...starts getting dunning letters...

...gets hired by a temporary agency and sent to Gage inc.

problems with Gage...smells...hears young fellow workers talking about their drug usage...woman gets 

laid off on medical leave after shredder thrown piece of plastic breaks her sternum... keeps getting 

sore hands...

gets pissed at watching the pork ad...

                                      ...decides:

to go to navy recruiter...

   see iffn I can find this section from last year

   he starts working out

goes back in navy

goes to returnee camp...pay is fantastic and goes to medical and is amazed that he only has to be in 

uniform...likes the

recognization...meets woman named Elizabeth Burgen (model her after the Burgen I knew.

goes to Guam where he is on ship as LPO of Navigation

division...CO makes him Navigator when he makes CPO. 

relationship with Burgen goes very well. Has pork dinner and it works out nicely...

     

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          

///Notes: a. make sure number of days off is correct

          b. have George go with tanner to reagan's boyhood house           c. get a better handle on 

the timing of this story.           d. have Tanner visit his relatives!

     

@ outline

next couple of days of recovery

spends weekend reading in library

      starts reading navy times

goes in on Moanday and finds out he was fired

      foreman gives him final check and tries to 

      trick him into signing waiver

    gets W-2 and after leaving discovers that the 

      W-2 has wrong SSN--says "fuck it" and leaves

goes back "home" and tells others what has

      happened

starts reading the "help wanted" section of paper

pays a visit to restraunt to talk with the               waitress and gets free breakfast

starts looking for jobs but has no luck

***during this time...has conversations with fellow residents in lobby***

...starts getting dunning letters...

...gets hired by a temporary agency and sent to Gage inc.

problems with Gage...smells...hears young fellow workers talking about their drug usage...woman gets 

laid off on medical leave after shredder thrown piece of plastic breaks her sternum... keeps getting 

sore hands...

gets pissed at watching the pork ad...

                                      ...decides:

to go to navy recruiter...

   see iffn I can find this section from last year

   he starts working out

goes back in navy

goes to returnee camp...pay is fantastic and goes to medical and is amazed that he only has to be in 

uniform...likes the

recognization...meets woman named Elizabeth Burgen (model her after the Burgen I knew.

goes to Guam where he is on ship as LPO of Navigation

division...CO makes him Navigator when he makes CPO. 

relationship with Burgen goes very well. Has pork dinner and it works out nicely...

he saw an ad that infuriated him.

 Woman: Hi, i'm home from my 8 day business trip.

   kids:hi dear, hi mom

 woman: whats for dinner...i want steak!

   kid: mrs small made a pork cassorrell for tonight...can she stay.

 Woman: no, dear, she should go home now. I'm here and will cook dinner.

husband enters

 woman: hi dear! (bright, happy voice)

husband: oh...hi dear (tone of voice: oh shit! she is back)...how was your trip (desperate enthusianism)

 woman: fine! i just...

husbnad:can mrs small stay...she made pork steaks last week and was talking about port cassorell 

tonight..."

 woman: i just want to get unpacked...(what her husband has interrupted her with sinks in)...No! she 

can't stay! I don't want pork!"

 family:"but EVERYONE says pork is the other white meat"

 woman: (sighs) oh..OK..ok...lets have mrs. small's pork and maybe she can teach me some of her recipes 

tomorrow."

family embraced her...middle aged woman, obviously mrs small,is looking on in delight at this family 

scene...

Bill was infuriated! she was infuriated at the thought that anyone would hire a woman to come in to cook 

and clean house when there was a "father" present who could do the shopping and

cooking; infuriated that the teenaged children weren't doing the dishes and helping their father with 

the house cleaning and the laundry; infuriated that the ad was done in a house which spoke of a wealth 

and a standard of living as far out of randy's reach as the moon was above his rented room's window. 

underneath this rage was the pain of knowing that he could have hired a "mrs small" himself before he 

had left the navy the year before. Bill wasn't much good at facing pain straight up, he preferred to 

mask it with rage or booze and just hope that the hell of ruined dreams and other pain would slip away 

like water thru sand at the beach. unfortunately, there were always little catchbasons

underneath the sand and that water always found them and stagnated there...growing things best not seen 

and best not to have around this part in italitics was put in as an afterthought and was not part of the 

original highly emotion charged surge of writing  ; catch basins of water that were never leaving, just 

spreading their poison under the sand where it couldn't be seen.

 

     Bill suddenly realized that GAFman, Inc. might even sue him someday in an attempt to recover it's 

workman comp loses. He decided he had better plan a little bit of deception since he knew that there was 

a seven year limit on suits.

     After thinking for a moments, he got up and checked to see how much change he had in his pockets 

and then went down the hall to the pay phone. He called his third cousin, James Elbert

Winston.

     "Hi, Jimmy, this is Bill Tanner."

     "Hiya Billy-boy! We haven't heard from you in most of a year! Your momma said you'd just got out of 

the Navy."

     "Yup, just did, about to go back in. Working here wasn't what I thought it would be like and I kind 

miss being on ships."      "When you going back, Bill?"

     "In a couple of weeks. I'd like to come visit but don't have the time...or gas money for that 

matter."

     "Times are getting tough here too."

     "Anyway, I really called 'cause I need your legal advise."      His cousin was a lawyer in Higgins 

county, Michigan and his cousin's wife was the local justice of the peace as well as the town historian.

     "Ask away, cousin, I'm charging you the usual fee."

     The usual fee was that Tanner would have to buy his cousin and wife a good dinner the next time 

they saw each other.

     "I was working for this place in town called 'GAFman, Inc.' and they had all the employees take a 

flu shot. I had a bad reaction to the shot and went to the hospital and charged it to 'workman's comp'. 

GAFman is claiming that I signed a waiver saying that they weren't responsible for the sickness. A 

couple of the boys there told me that they are planning on sueing me."      "They could too. They could 

say that everyone there had signed and that you stole the waiver form."

     "Interesting you would put it that way, Jimmy, this friend of mine was saying that the boss there 

was giving people bribes to sign waivers dated to the day that the shots were given. No W-2s or any 

paperwork. Most are taking a free paycheck this way. Some are refusing."

     "Well, let me ask you a question. Whats the turnover rate there at GAFman?"

     "Pretty high. The old boy I was friends with, named George, is about to go work for a car 

manufacturer near Rockford. The other guy is fixing to retire in about two years."

     "Well, Billy, it looks like any witness who can say that there was fraud in the waiver signing will 

be gone in two, three, years. That is when they'd sue you."

     "Yup, that was what I was afraid was going to happen."

      "Well, don't worry about it. You can just move up here and make sure you don't tell anyone you're 

going back in the Navy. Where are you going anyway?"

     "Going to 'returnees boot camp' in San Diego and then to a ship out of Guam after I graduate from 

'returnees camp'. I don't expect to be in the upper Midwest for some time to come."

     "Good idea, just tell everyone that you're moving up here to room with us. We never mentioned it, 

but, we sometimes take in roomers. The local literary magazine runs personnel ads. We can put in an ad 

for 'rooms to rent' in the March issue and send it to you."

     "March issue?"

     "The editor is four months behind since she just finished her last year of pre-med. She says that 

the March through June issues will be out in a couple of weeks. The only problem is that she's got April 

through June "proofed up" and at the printer and I'm still proofreading March; I figure that I can have 

it to the printer in about an hour. I'll have the ad inserted in just a jiffy."

     There was a longish pause and Tanner had to deal with the operator for some more of his quarters.

     "You'll be getting your copy in about a week and I'll put you down in the books as being a 

subscriber. If they ever come out this way, you'll be covered."

     "OK."

     "I'll send a March, April, May and June to your old navy address and the July issue to whatever the 

hell your current address is."

     Tanner then gave his cousin his new address.

     "Well, Billy boy, if anything comes up, I'll be getting in touch with you. I know this is costing 

you a lot of money so I'll just send you a letter. Debbie Sue says 'hi' and gives you her love. Take 

care, Bill."

     "Yeah. Thanks Jim and you'll have to come out to Guam if you want a dinner from me!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     Five years later, Warrant Officer Tanner got a letter from his cousin. The letter went:

          You remember that little "scam" we pulled off years ago with you moving up here? Well, a 

couple of lawyers representing "GAFman, Inc." came up here looking for you. They said they 

were tracing you and were planning on suing you for "workman's comp fraud". It seems that your 

social security got erased off of your job application and that they screwed up your social 

security number on your W-2. I think that they're real pissed off at you for not putting your SSN 

down on the workman's comp forms or medical forms. It was your legal right and they're pissed off 

at you for that.

          The IRS is telling them that without your correct SSN, they can't help GAFman, Inc. and 

won't let GAFman go fishing through their records to try finding you. They didn't tell me this, 

by the way, I do some work for their local repre- sentative (Tanner knew that his cousin meant the 

IRS agent) and she told me this.

          We're sending you this letter from your Aunt Jeanne's house since those investigators 

working for GAFman look dumb enough to try checking our mail.  (Tanner thought that his cousin 

was a bit paranoid but he was glad for it. Tanner had been sending his letters to one of his cousin's 

professional PO boxes for years anyway. Tanner had been getting a reject copy of literary 

magazine that his cousin had been sending him privately for years. His subscription was considered 

a "donation" and was in cash.)

          Anyway, I showed them that change of address card you filled out and they went off to 

Northern Michigan looking for you there. I still don't know how you got the idea of

pretending to move there but they bought it. A lot of folks up there do casual work for the county 

and fish the back lakes when the game warden ain't around. Of course, the cops will say it 

ain't true, but, I know folks who have relatives doing this. They don't talk to outsiders either 

about   insiders and you'd be an insider by now. You just stay "under cover" for two more years and 

you'll be away clean.

     Tanner put down the letter and thought about it for a couple of minutes. He had not had any contact 

with the people in

Rockford for several years and was no longer stationed out of Guam anyway; he and his family were living 

in Newport Rhode Island. His wife, Elizabeth Bergen, had just been promoted to Warrant Officer herself 

and was going to "knife and fork school" in Pensacola Florida. "Knife and fork school" was the four week 

Navy training course for "fresh caught" warrant officers. It would be nice to see her back home again; 

his adopted daughter was in the third grade and Tanner had to go to "Parent Teacher night" and was 

feeling very strange about it. His adopted

daughter wanted "her dad" to make a good impression and was fussing at him about his tie, jacket, etc.

     Tanner decided that he would make pork steaks for dinner when his wife returned home.