"Disownment" revisted

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I have been house cleaning lately and decided to start copying files from my old 3.5" floppy disks to a very large hard drive. I found this file, written on 10 March 2006, and thought "Jeff really didn't disown me". Then, I got to thinking about our lack of contact and realized "Yes, Jeff really did disown me!" 

Perhaps it was the letter he wrote in the 2004 to 2005 time frame in which he said "we would have never met in real life so let's pretend we didn't meet". [words to that effect]. I guess this counts as disownment!

In 2015, Denise sent us a well written note saying they were only inviting folks "who loved their daughter" to said daughter's wedding. (I can not recall the name of this daughter and in fact, don't recall their names and have no idea what they look like!)  This was a well written "fuck you, don't come out!". Having just gotten retired, I didn't want to waste the money on an uninvited visit to them. We did not know the date or place of said wedding and they would not tell us. 

"C'est la guerre!". which is French for "it's the war!"

The old text follows:


I suppose it really bothers me that my brother Jeff has disowned me. It didn't dawn on me until last night that I've been grieving for him, for the lost relationship. I really didn't get to know him when we were boys and now it looks like I'll never get to know him as an adult.

 Our Mother was sick over Christ Mass [2005]. I couldn't go out to visit but two of our brothers live in the area and could and did visit her. She said that it was OK I didn't come out. Jeff come out and stayed a week and I suspect he's pissed at me over this.

 Let's see if I can figure out when it started going to crap? In the early 1990s, I was still getting over being passed over for promotion to LCDR (USN) and my wife and I were visiting Jeff and family. I started telling a couple of happy Navy stories and Jeff rather rudely told me "no one wants to hear those stories" [or words to that effect]. That shut me right up and I said nothing more as the conversation died and we left earlier than I'd thought we would.

It was an hour and a half drive back home but Jeff hadn't offered us his spare bedroom and we would not have accepted had he.

 Another time (after this first insult) we had Christmas gifts to deliver. Jeff's wife said "you've got to deliver them in a hurry and leave. My parents are coming by 3:30 pm and I can't entertain both of you and them." [or words to that effect]

 So, we showed up, dropped off the gifts, did the prefunctuary "how-are-you-we-are-fine" and were making our escape when the worst happened!

 Her parents arrived!

 Not only that but her parents were happy to see us and her father wanted to talk for a while. sigh. He was paying more attention to us than his daughter. We had a bit of difficulty breaking contact but we managed. The irony is that breaking contact is a term for one military force breaking contact with an enemy force. We had a good time with her father and didn't want to break contact with him (or his wife). We simply wanted to break contact with their daughter (Jeff's wife).

 I've got to wonder. Am I the only one in the family who remebers this? Does my brother Jeff remember slights the way I do? Probably! We both had the same father!

 Jeff's wife had serious martial problems with her ex. She was still married to this shithead when she started dating Jeff; their marrage date was dependent on when her divorce went through. They say they're good Christians and good Republicians. I've never seen reason to remind them of the part of Leviticus which states:

21:14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife. _{Blue seems like a good choice of colour when discussing a "blue law"}

Now, ignoring what "his own people" means in today's world, I don't think God would begrudge my brother and his wife finding happiness in marriage and I'm sure their kids are perfectly fine daughters (our Mother thinks so and the girl I met several years ago was; tis a pity I'll never be more than a distant Uncle and cautionary tale to them.

I say "cautionary tale" as I've heard they tell "Uncle Mike" stories about things I did or may have done when I was growing up...) Oh, well, enough beefing. I've "honey do" to be done and not much time for that and a half hour walk before lunch "with the wife". (I don't normally use the phrase "with the wife" and I'm surprised it kind of slipped out...)

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disownment, cautionary tales, Uncle Mike cautioinary tales, grief, anger

"Good Times" My first shorty at Oregon State University

This was probably my first story written in Dr. Jeffers 381 level writing course the summer of 1975. I was a student at Oregon State University.

Good Time

                It was a Tuesday night in early May and the USS NOLANDE was returning home from a ten month Mediterranean  Cruise. Evening chow had just ended and the crew was settling down to a relaxed evening. The crew was happy; some counted the hours until homecoming., Home Coming was the afternoon of the next day.

                In the comm office, Petty Officer George Kellner put down his hand of cards and walked over to three teletypes and ripped off the messages hanging from them. The radio reception had been good all day; there had almost no work to do that day compared to the cruise that had just ended. He sorted and filed the messages with a great economy of motion.

                The comm office was two room affair, one held the radio receivers, the other room contained the teletypes, cryptographic equipment, files and a large tale that Kellner and another man were sitting at.

                Kellner sat down and picked up his card hand.

                “God damn it Charlie, it’ll be nice to be home again!”

                “Certainly will be, George. My wife wrote and said that she was planning a very nice meal before we do some partying.”

                “Your wife’s boss is going to let her take the day off when we get into Norfolk, Charlie?”

                “She’s getting the rest of the week off with pay. My wife said her boss is sentimental. What are you planning on doing, George?”

                “My family lives in Michigan so they won’t be coming out here to watch us dock. I can’t get leave for two weeks so I figure I’ll just hand around till then.”

                “Most of the division will go on leave as soon as we get back to port so it’ll be pretty quiet on board. Why don’t you come over and visit my wife and I? I know she’d like to have you visit.”

                “Thanks, Charlie, I think I will. But the first week or so I think I’ll just get used to being back in the US. It should be a lot of fun. I don’t want to bother you and your wife.”

                They continued playing spades until George was relieved at midnight then went before to their sleeping quarters.

                The ship was scrubbed and polished and inspected and hung out with every signal flag the Captain could hang aloft. An aircraft carrier has a lot of places to hang bunting from and the NOLANDE was an amazing sight as she worked her way through the harbor towards the docks.

                There were thousands of people – relatives, lovers, friends, the curious – lining the dock as the NOLAND tied up. The Navy base band and two high school bands were there. Their din filled the air above e the crowd’s noise,. The ship’s company, wearing dress whites, was neatly lined up one abreast around the e3dge of the flight deck. The crew shouted, waved and tried to see their visitors in the crowd. A sailor’s white hat can be thrown like a freebee; George and a thousand other sailors happily pitched their hats into the crowd.

                Finally, the ship put over gangplanks and a disorderly exit was started by the ship’s company. Petty officer Charlie Synder and George Kellner were caught in the rush towards exits from the flight deck.

                “Charlie, did you see your wife in that crowd?”

                “Sure did, George, this is going to be one hell of a fine Wednesday. I can hardly wait to get ashore…What are you planning on doing tonight?”

                “I think I’ll just walk around a while. It should be a lot of fun.

                “Don’t be disappointed, George. Norfolk isn’t much of a liberty town.”

                “I don’t know, man, we’ve been gone a long time. But, I do know man, we’ve been gone a long time. But I do know I’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time. I’ll get some good cooking for a change, go shopping and just look around.”

                They went below deck stopping at the division’s living quarters long enough for Charlie to grab his bag and leave papers. George knew that eve3ning chow would be leftover leftovers so he left the ship with Charlie. Separated from Charlie in the rush, George began the mile walked from the docks to the base Petty Officer Club.

                At the club, George had the largest steak dinner the club offered. Perhaps it was the steak or the first wine George had had in ten days, George left the club feeling very fine indeed and looking for a good time.

                The bus to downtown Norfolk was crowded and smelt of old tobacco. George had forgotten how far it was to the stop he wanted and spent most of the ride craning  his neck looking out a window. It was after dark when George got downtown.

                George decided he didn’t want to go to Sears and instead began walking down the strip. The bars, cheap  movies, garbage cafes, and “Exotic Shows” were as he remembered them. George passed a cheap jewelry store, slowed slightly and was hooked inside by a salesman…

                “Hello, my name is Jim! What’s your name SIR?” The salesman held out a hand to be shaken and had on a  good buddy smile.

                “George.”

                “Nice to meet you, George. Could I interest you in anything?”

                Nope43. I just got back in today so I’m just trying to get used to Norfolk again. I don’t want to waste your time..."

                George turned to walk out the door and the salesman magically interposed himself between George and the door.

                “Then you must be going home so, George? We have more nice pins that I’m sure your Mother would love.”

                I don’t want to buy anything now, OK? Maybe later.”

                “It was nice meeting you, George.”

                The salesman moved George out of th3e store with the same smoothness that he had sucked George into the store. The spider went back to waiting. As George turned to go into a  bar next to the store, the spider struck again and another faceless fly heard: “Hello, my name is…”

                George walked into the bar and slumped into a booth. On a small stage a topless dancer who was a living example of why women wear bras slowly swayed back and forth. Another sailor slid into the booth across the table from George and eyed the woman.

                The man turned to George: “Hey, aren’t you Kellner from NOLANDE’s communications?”

                “Yeah. You’re Johnson from teletype repair, aren’t ya?”

                “Yup. This [place really suck out man. We’ve been here at least five minutes and still haven’t been served. In Athens, we never had to wait for a beer. What the hell is the matter with people?”

                George shrugged; “I don’t know, man.”

                George  took  a  deep breath  of stale  beer,  burned  grease  from  the  grill and sweat.  The room was dimly lit and that helped hide the bad décor, the badly patched seats and the big momma “dancing” on the stage. The waitress finally arrived and took their orders with a bored, fuck it attitude.  After the first “dancer”, both men had stopped watching the floor show and were studying the foam in their beers.

                “Kellner, you know what I miss already? I miss the bars in Athens.”

                “I dig it. Those bars were nice, clean places with good service.”

“This dump doesn’t go9ive a shit about us. In Athens, the barmaids would at least talk to us. Besides, you could always pick up a barhog in Athens, the barmaids would at least talk to us. Besides, you could always pick up a barhog in Athens and you sure can’t in NoFuck, Vagina!” Johnson gulped his beer after the joke on the cities’ name. “Even the beer is bad here.

Kellner agreed with Johnson about the beer and the service then both left the bar.

“I’m going home,” Johnson  said and turned to walk back towards the ship.

“I’m going to wonder about,” George replied.

He spent the next hour meandering around the downtown section of Norfolk looking  at the “Exotic, Topless” bars, the cheap slop houses, the clip joint clothing stores and the “Adult Movie Theaters.” George entered none of these establishments but merely glanced at their fronts and through their windows. ”

                                A drunk staggered past Kellner and pissed in an alley. Some dude wandered out fo9 the darkness and tried laying religion on Kellner. Finally,  Kellner got bored and pissed off with wonder around Fun City.  He took the first bus back to the ship.

                On Thursday, the day after homecoming, the ship shut down its  communications office. All messages were being received by a shore communications stati9on. It was Kellner’s job to drive a ship0’s van over to the comm station and pick up the messages twice a day. All day Thursday and Friday, Kellner made his two trips a day and then read a paperback in the comm office. Kellner was the only person not on duty .  Kellner was the only person in the division,  not on duty, who stayed on the ship nights instead of going on liberty.

                Friday afternoon, Kellner called Charlie Synder.

                “Hey, Charlie, is that visit offer still good?”

                “Sure is, George, my wife just told me to try to get you to come over for the weekend. How’s your liberty been?”

                A real pain, man!  I thought it would be nice to go to a US bar again but it wasn’t. The people in the bar just didn’t give a shit about us.”

                “You got spoiled, George. Those barhogs in Athens  you used to talk about had a lot of interest in sailors. Bartenders here don’t need to give a shit…”

                “The only movies downtown were porno,” Kellner rambled, “and who likes to watch other people fuck?”

                “I know that, George. You’d rather do something than watch some dummy do it…if you’re off duty now, my wife and I can come over and pick you up.”

                “I’m definitely off duty. The weekend duty section is already on watch and sleeping on mattresses in the comms office. All they got to do is make sure no one breaks into the office.  Please tell your wife I accept with thank. It should be a good time.

                It was.

My teacher, Dr. Jeffers, had been a Naval Officer during WW2 and commented that my story was just about how liberty could be bad. WSell, my story was more about the emotional reaction of a single sailor coming back to Norfolk after a long cruise. He had thought the civilians would be interested in what he had done and his life and he was wrong of course...

odd news

While sorting through a box of CD and clutter, I found the only existing copy of what is probably my first short story as an adult (written the summer of 1975). I am copying it and hope to have it done this evening. I did write several short stories, several poems and a play the last six weeks of high school but did not make a carbon copy of my stories. So, this outbreak of creativity is 47 years lost...

The story is about a sailor's homecoming to Norfolk Virgina. I wrote the same story about 2009  in the form of two stories. One story had a very happy homecoming. The other had a very sad homecoming with the homecoming sailor possibly attempting suicide. I've gotten a lot "darker" in my writing...